I love my church

There is a lot of talk going on about how we need to do church better and how we need to do this or that, etc. to "reach" people for Christ. But one thing I know is that no matter what mood I come to church in or how much I don't want to be there or I don't want to see some people-I look around at the others that I am in the midst of and know they love me and accept me where I am. That is a God-send to me. Just the constant of that thought. Regardless of how I feel or what I've been through that week. That is a nice place to be and I think we "do" church just fine.

Hierarchy of Birds

Here are some of the birds that have been at my feeder at work. Actually, the Robin does not make it to the feeder, he stays on the ground. They make the day go by faster - and the twins (deer) are growing - they still have their spots but today they play fought with each other as if they had horns, it was very cute and makes me think they are males. I'm such a naturalist...

What else can I do?

My friend is dying of cancer. She is wife of Charlie and mother to Peter, a 12 year old boy with Downs Syndrome. I blogged about her a few months ago when she first found out she had cancer - it was in the throat area - and was dealing with decisions regarding chemo and radiation. We prayed for her and she was doing really well - and I felt like the Lord had heard our prayers.

Now, last Friday she found out its in the lungs and inoperable. The doctor's gave her approximately 3 months, 12 weeks, 90 days left. It's not like its quality time either. She will probably have pain and gradually get weaker and weaker.

I was arguing, yelling, pleading, begging God to heal her. I didn't ask Him because I have great faith or even because I think He will...I did it because He's the ONLY ONE who can do anything. I'm out of options at this point and I will admit that this is the main reason I beseeched Him, asked, cried, and finally said I don't want to be a Christian anymore cause I can't reconcile this. If I could trade with her, I would in a NY minute...

I was talking to a wise friend about this and he said "do you think other people have it figured out...how this all works?" I replied with my normal skepticism that most people simply blurt out stupid sayings if only because they don't know any better. So it comes down to what I know to be FACT:(These are MY facts...they do not have to be yours!)

1. God loves my friend more than anything
2. This is NOT God's will for her life
3. God knows, cares, is willing and is able to heal her
4. God does nothing except in response to prayer
5. Her illness is a result of Satan's control of the earth
6. God is more powerful than Satan
7. Our struggle is not against flesh & blood
8. My faith is not strong enough to do this alone
9. I do NOT want my friend to die

That's it...it's all I have and it's what I take to the throne of mercy, grace and the all powerful Jesus - who died for the ugliness of cancer and even now holds us all in his arms - even here on earth. Please Lord, hear our prayers.

Natural Born Skeptic

I am a bit of a skeptic and this permeates every dimension of my life. So the other day I was working out with my trainer who I have only met with once before. I was not sure (skeptic) if I liked her as she was not laughing at my jokes or getting any of my wry wit.

Sunday when we were working out, she asked where I work. This is a natural conversation starter because if you have kids we can talk education and if you've been to church then we can talk about the ministry side of the school. So I was telling her and it was as if the flood gates of her past experience with church opened. She went to a church that will remain nameless with a red-headed pastor and got burned. She was in leadership, her kids went to the school, and she has not been back to any church for 4 years. She didn't tell me what happened but I could tell there was some pain behind it. I told her that was fine and we could still talk theology if she wanted.

We were stretching at the end of the workout and she asked me what the last book (spiritual) I had read. I thought for a minute as I wasn't sure if she was baiting me or if she really wanted to know (skeptic) and I said "Blue Like Jazz" and she got so excited and she said she had read that too. She said she reads Anne Lamott and Rob Bell and I said "so if I said the name Brian McLaren you would know what I was talking about?" She smiled and said "New Kind of Christian."

I love how the Lord brings total strangers together in totally weird ways. I am still a skeptic, but am starting to realize that she may have crossed my path for a reason (and not just to build big muscles!)

P.S. On the highly sarcastic, somewhat evil note: Les Parrott has a new book out on Amazon (granted...I've only been published in Zappos, so) but they spelled his name wrong on Amazon! They still have not fixed it...I love it!

Here it is: New book by: Lew, Ph.D. Parrott

I am published!

It must be because I spent so much money here in the last six months...but Zappos.com (the only place to buy shoes) asked me to comment on the Chuck Taylor's I bought from them recently and they published it!

Here it is if you want to see: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/25875196/c/99495.html

I sound like a dufus kind of - but it was fun.


**I forgot the best part..they sent me a coupon...so name your size and someone may get a new pair of Rocket Dogs!**

Remember Winter?

Driving home today, the temperature gauge in my car said 100 degrees.

Then, I get home and inside my house, it reads 91 degrees.

I think I'll build a fire.

The circle of life...and why it sucks

We have not seen this little baby since before July 4th. The twins are still around but this little guy may be coyote food - I'm going to bring Brent's airsoft gun and go hunting for coyote.

Progressive Reform

I started the quarter this weekend - taking two classes and one has already proven to be pretty interesting. It is Juvenile Deliquency and the first essay discusses the Progressive Era (late 19th to the early 20th century)and one of its contributions was to our current juvenile justice system. The writer is arguing, pretty well, that basically the progressive era "child-saving" movement was a bunch of rich folks disgusted with the "riff raff" of juveniles on the streets and created orphanages, youth homes, and basically our version of half-way houses to clean up the streets. It was the rich dictating to the poor what will happen.

The author also talks about how this era was predicated on excessive idealism and moral absolutism. This has stayed with me ever since reading it. Now, I read a lot of blogs, political, religious, fun, corny, and blogs where people are in love with their own writing whether grammatically correct or not and in my blog reading, I read A LOT of, dare I say shit, regarding moral absolutism and how if we just do this or that things will be better(clean up the "riff raff" if you will).

What seems to be missing in this dialogue is HOW - a strategy, a game-plan, a step-by-step instruction manual for how one goes about creating the change these bloggers speak of. Tell me WHAT YOU ARE DOING to change - do not simply use big words and mouth that change is a good idea and that if we did this than our world would be a better place. I want to know what you are doing to enact change in your own life - that is where it will speak to me; not on some moral platitude. Then you are no better than those sponsoring the Progressive reform.

Here's a great example: I was reading my friends blog, Theology Mom, and she said she was watching Live something or other - and she had practical suggestions for what I CAN DO TODAY to help stop global warming or help protect the environment - these were simple things, something we can all do...but it was more than a statement to make me feel bad that I'm not doing more - it was a "hey why don't you turn off the lights or turn down your thermostat."

Sorry for the rant...I just want to start making change that is meaningful. This is why I love Mosaic - for so many reasons...but it does REAL stuff to enact REAL change and I get to be a part of it monetarily and physically. There is not another coffeehouse that I know of that is 100% donation based, non-profit and gives away 10% of EVERYTHING they take in every month! What a novel concept! I am proud and thankful and now the Mariner's are fighting so I must go watch.

Thanks for listening and Lord, thank you for Mighty Mo...a little coffeehouse that creates change and makes a difference.

GP 2007

**Update** Phil has an interview in Tukwila! He comes home for it the end of July...I'm so excited! I think I'll drive by and lay hands on the engines.

**Update 2** My arms are sore and I'm upset that I am so weak! I used to be strong...all in all a very frustrating work out and I thought I was going to puke!


That stands for "Great Purge" and it's going well. I took an entire basket load of shoes to Value Village today. That was a big step for me - now I feel like I have to replace them all (j/k)...I won't.

I am cleaning out my storage unit in hopes of using that monthly fee to pay for my gym membership and personal training for a few months. It was so hot there today though, that I could only clean out a few boxes. I amaze myself at what I keep "just in case."

I meet with the personal trainer today and I want to feel sore tomorrow. It's exciting-the last time I had a personal trainer, I lived with my folks rent free and lost about 30 pounds. Times have changed and I certainly can't afford it on a regular basis, but today is free and we'll see how it goes.

Last night was fun - we had a great time blowing up things and trying not to get scorched. Ladybugs were my favorite. We also got a Happy Lamp - it was very cute and different. I will have to remember that for next year. Hope everyone had fun and was safe.

Work out

I have usually liked to work out - going to the gym - lifting weights - etc. Lately, however, as I've grown larger and larger, working out is not on my top ten list of things to do when I get home. That along with two jobs, school, church, Mosaic and sanity, I was not too sure when I would fit it all in.

Anyway...my friend from work got me a two month membership to the club she goes to and today we went together to work out. First, the club is a little further than I would like (strike 1) but then I got there and let me say that I love the diversity of downtown Renton (wink!). There were people of all shapes, sizes, nationalities, and ages and they were all working hard. I rode the bike for 35 minutes and then set a personal training appointment. My friend uses a trainer and says it is worth the effort. I will try the one free one and see if it will work. They also have aerobics and did I mention the diversity?

It is so much easier to go with a friend. The time we sat on the bikes flew by and all of a sudden I was done with cardio. I think I will like this - at least for two months.

We're going again tomorrow - and I am shooting for a 45 minute cardio bike ride.

BTW - I love my brother in law and his $??? worth of fireworks - he has an aresonal and I can't wait to light it up on the 4th!

Texas Chainsaw...not so much

Tonight at Mosaic...the scary welder mask/chainsaw wielding/pantless/smelly guy came in. And...he was not so scary, kinda smelly, and didn't have a chainsaw. He also put money in the donation box - and I felt ashamed and asked for Jesus to forgive me and remind me again and again that he loves us all and that Mosaic is here for HIM and I am here for HIM.

I say that not just for platitude's or because it sounds good...it also requires a serious look into our mental health system in this country. We do not do a very good job (church or otherwise) of taking care of this people group. That's for another blog (or thesis) on another day. Right now, I have to tell the TCM Guy what time it is...cause he's asking.

Breakfast at the Falls

Today my mom treated her girls (my two sisters and I)to breakfast at Snoqualmie Falls - Salish Lodge. We had the "Country Breakfast" and no joke...here is what we got:

Course 1: Parfait (yogurt, fruit and a granola sprinkle) with two types of pastry. I had a scone and an orange brioche.
Course 2: Snoqualmie steel-cut oatmeal with a peach/cranberry compote served with milk and brown sugar
Course 3: Three eggs (served how you like), shoe string potatoes, apple wood sausage, ham and two pieces of bacon. This was also served with a buttermilk biscuit.
Course 4: Buttermilk pancakes.

It was so good! The beverages were also very good (I am grounded for the "coffee" I ordered...he he!) and we all shared the "chocolate pot" which was basically heaven in a cup.

It was one of the most fun times I've had in a long, long time. I was with three of the people I love most in the whole world and it didn't matter that we were overweight, skinny, cranky, happy, single, married, poor, rich, young or old...it was just nice being together and loving each other...we laughed really hard (Holly did not wet her pants) and we just enjoyed one another. I think that we should make this a regular thing - even if it's Denny's or Family Pancake...I need these women in my life on a regular basis!

Thanks Mom, for thinking of us and bringing us together for a much needed time of fun, relaxation, great food and a little nip! :)

Why sometimes I love Community

As most of you may know, one of the burden's of my heart recently has been my folks and their care and employment. My dad lost his pastorate in Bellingham so he has been scrambling trying to find something to make life meaningful. My mom has been the breadwinner working for my 99 year old grandma and that has helped a lot!

Today, my dad got a call from someone in our church. She is head of a department at Edmonds Community College and offered my dad a job as an adjunct faculty member. He will be able to teach a series of classes on making life changes - not faith-based but can offer some advice and stuff. I am just thankful that in our church, Mark let dad do a Sunday School class and Mary came and met him and now several years later it turns into something (I think) my dad has always wanted to do. What this could lead to is also amazing. I truly believe in the Lord's care and purposeful acts in our lives and am so thankful to be in community with these people - for better or worse. One never knows what will happen.

I'm in a grant writing class this week at SPU. It's so intense that I come home with one eye closed every night. Luckily, tomorrow is Wednesday and we're almost done. I think this skill set will be a great addition to the school, Mosaic and SFC.

Quarter #2 Done

I just submitted my final paper to end quarter #2! I'm taking two classes again starting July 2 - Juvenile Delinquency and Grief Counseling - should be interesting.

I literally have *nothing* to do right now and it feels great. I tried to see if my mom wanted to hang out and go to Salvage Studio - but I guess she is busy or doing something else...oh well.

I am going to watch all my old Tivo shows from February! Happy Saturday!

$21 a week/Food Challenge

As I was sipping my Diet Coke w/lime and listening to NPR today, they talked about the "food stamp challenge." Many senators are participating this week in this challenge in an effort to up the food stamp subsidy (tied to the Farm Bill) and trying to live on the average amount that food stamp recipients receive or $21.00/week - if you do the math that is $1.00/meal. This does not include WIC-which also subsidizes food for families w/kids. I thought about this as I was reading the choices these people were making - lots of peanut butter and tuna fish and I thought about taking the challenge myself.

My weekly budget (when I'm Southbeaching) is about $50.00/week, this includes a lot of veggies (which are not cheap) and some pre-packaged foods. So, to go to $21/week would limit those choices. Again, I do not think this would include WIC - which as I remember there was always leftover eggs, cheese and milk.

The worst part was when they were talking with a food stamp recipient about the jar of spaghetti sauce that gets broken - that was supposed to cover several meals and now the person can't feed anyone in her family - there is no more money to buy another jar.

I am all for raising awareness of what the government likes to call "Food insecurity" - I guess it's easier to hear than POOR, or POVERTY, or STARVATION...and I think that if we all tried this together, for just 7 days...we could go far in raising our awareness of what it feels like to be truly insecure and incredibly creative. Thankfully, after a week, I can buy diet Cokes again but for several million Americans, this is a weekly challenge.

I may try this and post what I've purchased and eaten - another reason why I love Mosaic!

Reason #428 why I like working in the wilderness

We have two (twins) baby fawns that just came out for the first time today-wobbly legs and all. They are so cute! I will try to get a picture soon...

Sunday Nights

In the summer of my youth, Sunday nights were the most fun. After church, sometimes we would go to Mr. K's or VIP's with a killer kid's menu. But the best was when we used to go to the store and my dad would let us pick out whatever we wanted for dinner - we finally got smart enough to share our picks (Holly and me) so one person would get a dessert to share and one would get Totino's pizza roles that burnt your chin when you bit into them. It would stay light for what seemed like forever. Then, to know that you didn't have to go to school the next day was how heaven will be - I am sure.

Now, in my life, Sunday nights suck. For some reason, they remind me of how alone I am. I usually try to have friends over or go out with H&H, B&E - but friends are busy and Brent is grounded...so I'm home. I do not know what it is about Sundays that make me very lonely and faced with the fact that I am alone...but it happens almost every Sunday. I like my job now, so I no longer stress out over that, but something happens in my psyche, only on Sunday nights, to make me feel this way. I wish they had a single-use Zoloft for just such an occasion.

I must admit, my faith was strengthened this weekend - the Lord answered a very timely prayer on my behalf. He took care of me - and maybe that is why this Sunday I do not feel as alone.

Justice for all

On May 2, 1964, Charles Moore & Henry Dee, 19, were hitchhiking along a rural Mississippi road. Charles Moore (pictured at left) was a college student and Henry Dee worked at a local lumber yard. As they were walking, they were picked up by several members of the Ku Klux Klan. They were bound, beat and thrown alive into the Mississippi River.

While looking for missing three civil rights workers in July of 1964, searchers stumbled upon the lower half of a young black man's body. Partial remains of another man are found the next day. The men are later identified as Moore & Dee. Oh, and the bodies of the missing civil rights workers were also found in August. They had also been murdered.

Arrested in the Moore & Dee case were two men, James Seale then 29; and Charles Edwards, 31. The FBI reports that both Edwards & Seale admit to picking up the two boys and beat them but left them alive. The FBI turns over their findings to local authorities who promptly drop all charges.

The case was reopened in 2000 because FBI documents state that part of the crime took place in a National Forest; making this a federal crime.

Prosecutors have trouble finding Seale because his son, as intelligent as his father, tells authorities that he is dead. Come to find out, he's alive and well and living a few miles from where the crime was committed.

James Seale was finally arrested on January 24, 2007 and is now standing trial for the kidnap, beating and murder of young Charles Moore & Henry Dee. The case should be concluded in the next few days. I will update the blog when I hear the verdict.

I am thankful for justice, no matter how long in coming.

I want some Cocoa Puffs

I amaze myself that in about 6.5 hours I can knock out a paper to submit..thankfully it's only a draft - but I still think it sucks.
Anyway..it's done and I would really like some Cocoa Puffs...but I don't want to go to the store.

Hey mom...there's not one swear word in this post!

Red Letter Rants - part II

How many times in the past few months have I supposed to have been writing a paper and I choose to blog instead?? Hmmm....

Probably as many times as I've blogged about how much it sucks sometimes to live in community. I think that the "big" churches have it better-you can just go to church, listen, leave and never have to be accountable to anyone at all...but that's not what my reality is at this point; and truthfully as hard as it is, I don't know that I would trade it for anything. Maybe today, but not normally.

It sucks to live in community when people send you stupid emails about stupid things and you end up rolling your eyes at their utter lack of intelligence or grace. Someone I know received an email this week that was so stupid I started swearing at my computer screen when he told me. Instead of uplifting this person or saying "hey I'm praying for you this week..." this email was so incredibly stupid and showed exactly what kind of person this was. I wanted my friend to reply and say "you know, here's a crazy idea...you get your shit together first, then you can email me about anything you want...but until then..." My friend has way more grace than that.

And I hurt for my friend...because I KNOW (beyond all doubt) that we all are trying so desperately to live in the midst of what God is doing and to get others to love Jesus or even give a damn about him and then to get shot down by idiots IN HIS NAME is sometimes really shitty. Hell (if there is one) will be full of Christians who do exactly that...drag someone down in the name of Jesus. That my friends, is the unforgivable sin.

Maybe tomorrow's post will be more fun. Maybe I'll also get my paper done.