Thursday, June 19, 2008

The summer of my selfishness

I tried to go and rent a storage unit today. A nice concrete 5x10 to put all my worldly possessions. I don't have much...but what I have I like - it is me and my collections and somehow the thought of putting it in boxes and stuffing it away hurts my gut.

I drive to the little street where the big PUBLIC STORAGE sign looms overhead. I pulled in and lo-and-behold...there were NO parking spots. I drove around and even tried to park on the street but the huge sign said NO PARKING. So, what's a girl to do? Drive home and make fajitas and drink black cherry with VV? Of course!

Do I lack motivation? I don't think's a very tough spot to be in and I resent it a little bit. I really do and I don't like to wallow. I can't even pray about it anymore. There are no answers that I want to hear. Yes, I admit...I don't want to listen to what God may be telling me and I don't want to do maybe what he's asking. I want my way and I'll stomp my foot and not find a parking place at the storage unit lot.

Welcome to the summer of my selfishness. I don't know if you'll stay long...but it's ok. I'm fine being alone.


jen said...

I'm so sorry. That's a yucky place to be, and I find myself there often. We can all pray FOR you, and on your behalf. That's what community and friendship is for - acting when we can't.

Diane said...

Summer of Selfishness? Nah. 'The Summer of Crappy Circumstances' and 'Tough Decisions' and mostly, The Summer of Praying Until You Can't Pray Anymore.' Welcome. I've been here a while. Let me be your tour guide.

holly said...

I feel a buck up speech coming on...

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I work at a Christian School district only 4 miles from my home. The people there are full of grace and love and I am glad to be a part of this ministry. I have a neice and nephew whom I love dearly. They are 12 and almost 15 respectively. I have two amazing sisters and two amazing brothers-in-law. Of course, I would not be here if it were not for my mother agreeing to marry my dad. Good going mom! My parents are my life and I would literally be NOTHING without their unconditional love, support and care. You rock mom and dad. Then there's Will & Lora...their giggles are like sunshine and their parents crack me up too.

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