Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Waiting patiently for this day to come....

You have turned my mourning into dancing;
you have taken off my sackcloth
and clothed me with joy,
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
- Psalm 30:11-12

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Ice cream aisle

There is a lockbox on my door now.

I will post MLS listing on Tuesday. My house looks great and my faithful brother-in-law helped put the finishing touches on the place.

Thank you kid sister for making today bearable. It sucked - except for the Olive Garden and the pedicure. Thanks Hill.

Please, pray for a quick sale. I know it's selfish, but I absolutely believe in miracles and I need one here.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

House update...

Today I spent back and forth from home to storage unit. Slowly but surely it's getting done. I realize that I'm worn out after about two trips up/down the stairs and it doesn't help that it's 87 degrees!

Tomorrow will work on the bedroom - take my cat to my parent's house and figure out what to do with this white dresser I have...I want to throw it in the trash...which I may end up doing.

My wise friend Adair told me that when my space is cleaner and more organized, I'll feel better. I think she's right, but getting there is part of the problem.

Right now, I'm watching Mary Carillo eating her way through China. Man..do I have stories of that! She's at the hot pot restaurant where I tried **many** interesting things. I miss China. Now..it's my favorite...Beach Volleyball!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Today is a birthday...I wonder for who?

What a fun weekend. Thanks to my friends and family for providing such a fun week..and weekend. The older I get the longer I like to celebrate. I guess it's that I need to forget that in one more year...I'm really old. It's pretty much over for me after that.

15 years ago today...the most beautiful baby boy was born. His red hair was a big surprise to all of us. My dad was so excited that he locked his keys in the car! We celebrated my 24th birthday in the hospital with a red velvet cake made by a dear friend.

He was (and still is) so incredibly life-changing for me..not so much in what I do..but HOW I do it. It is so important for me that he love Jesus more than anything...and love his family. The blessing in my life today is that he does both of those things, very well. He is kind, loving, friendly to all people, and he loves Jesus. That is the best birthday gift that our loving heavenly father could ever give me. I am so lucky to share this day with him and so thankful to the Lord for him and that he loves me...and wants to hang out with his "silly old aunt."

I love you boy. More than you will ever know!!
Your palla.

Friday, August 01, 2008

A very exciting month ahead

A few highlights of the month of August...

- 8.2.08 The Blue Angels! INTERMITTENT CLOSURES!
- 8.3.08 Working an event at Mo with the kid sis & BFF
- 8.5.08 Duke's & X Files with Diane
- 8.7.08 Dinner with the UW Girls at Spaghetti Factory!
- 8.8.08 The Olympics start
- 8.8.08 First Seahawk Pre-season game at Minnesota
- 8.9.08 Emerald Downs Saturday...come one come all! We'll be upstairs in the suites
- 8.10.08 15 years ago today...my BEST Birthday present of all was born!!!
- 8.14.08 Family Camp...still deciding
- 8.25.08 The first African American in history will accept a major party nomination for president of the United States.
- 8.28.08 The best mom in the world was born 64 years ago

These are only a few highlights of a very busy month. Should be fun!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Story Corps

To those who listen to NPR, you know that Story Corps is a conglomeration of people's stories that they are collecting. Then, these voiced vignettes will be stored in the Library of Congress kind of like a time capsule, to be heard for later generations. Story Corps portable recording units have been around Seattle and are routinely making their way around the country.

NPR broadcasts Story Corps usually everyday around 7:30 am and again throughout the day. These stories are from regular people talking about moments in their lives that were meaningful. It is a true testament to the fact that we are all apart of the human race - and we each have our own singular moments that help shape us and make us into the people we are and will be. Today's story was from a 70 year old man who contracted polio at age 8. He remembers being in the hospital for months and coming home with restrictive braces on his legs. My grandpa had polio and I remember his gimpy legs vividly. Anyway, this young boy was dotted on by his mother, who never made him get out of bed or do anything for himself.

One day, his mother went out to lunch with a girlfriend (at the prompting of her husband, the boy's step-father) and the step-father came in and picked up the boy by the scruff of the neck and moved him to the living room - which had been cleared of furniture. The step-father dropped the boy on the ground and said "walk". The boy hated him for doing this and was afraid to get up but was more afraid of his step-father. Anyway, the boy crawled and made it across the room. The step-father said "Good job! You can do this!"

They never told the boy's mother and each week would convince her to leave the house so he could practice with his step-dad. The man telling the story said he loved his step-father for making him work so hard and encouraging him to get up and walk.

These are the kind of stories told - some sad, some very difficult, some happy. They are stories of humanity and lives lived. I encourage anyone to check them out here

What would your story be?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Problem Averted

Just picked up three $5.00 Starbucks cards and made little notes that say:

"Thanks for parking in my spot. I hope you enjoy this little treat and remember to find another spot next time!"

Last night, my middle sister was driving me home and she said "You know, you have to be kind to the person who parked in your spot."

Dangit. I hate when she's smarter than me!

Singleness Amplified

There are only a few times (and very brief) where I feel "bad" being single. I usually do not feel bad about it...I have a full life with family and friends that I can't keep up with and school, working two jobs, church stuff and taking care of my 100 year old Granny some weekends. So, yeah, don't have a lot of time to feel bad/sad about being single.

This changes when someone parks in my RESERVED parking spot. What part of RESERVED = YOU CAN PARK HERE..NO BIG DEAL?

This hit me on Sunday night after coming home late from a hard weekend at my grandmas. She fell on Saturday night trying to get out of bed late and I paniced and cried and hated being there and hated her being this old and not thinking clearly. She thought we had all left her...although we were 30 feet away in the living room watching Batman Begins. Anyway...so sleep was precarious on Saturday night and I was tired coming home and thinking about unloading all my stuff to start a work week the next day.

Lo & behold someone had parked in my spot..not simply parked like "I'm only gonna be here for 5 minutes.." but had BACKED in to my spot. That screams "I'm gonna be here as long as I want and I don't care."

Now, I'm not sure what pushes your buttons on a regular basis..but when this happens to me it makes me SO mad. Like rage mad. Mad enough to plot things to do to the car that I actually might go through with if my building didn't have cameras on all angles of the parking lot. So, I pray through my rage...I feel bad...and I hate that there's no one else to stick up for me...to help me...to kick someone's ass. I know that's not really how it works, but it would have been nice.

I emailed and called and am trying to handle it diplomatically...I didn't bang on everyone's door and demand to know if they had parked in my spot. I didn't slash tires or put cat poop on the door handle. I am sick. Twisted.

I'll be glad when I no longer have to worry about this...

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Direct from GRCC!

Thank you for your interest in the Educational Planner, Transition position at Green River Community College. Your materials are now in the review process.

Due to the amount of time we take to thoroughly assess our candidates’ qualifications and the volume of applications we receive, it can take several weeks between receipt, review and selection. Although you may not receive information from the College regarding the status of your application during the review period, we will notify you when the search has concluded.

Again, we very much appreciate your interest in employment at Green River Community College

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Quasi review of The Shack

This post started out as a review of The Shack but as I read through passages again and let the words permeate my thoughts it's more of a review of living in community and my thoughts and purposeful attempt to do this - soon.

An outstanding theme that runs through this book is the thought of inter-dependence on one another and total dependence on God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit - each manifesting differently in the book. It is clear that we can't live without relationship. Although at this point in my life, a help-mate or "significant other" has not joined me in this journey, I've been surrounded by an amazing network of family and friends. These folks are my life - can't imagine walking without them, and relationship with them, and I desire the ongoing presence of them in my life. I want to learn, to fail, to cry, to try new stuff, to dream, imagine, screw up, yell, scream, laugh until we fall down, and like the book says "loving is the skin of knowing". What a statement.

To know someone - then to learn to love them...an amazing God concept. An amazing peek at his Kingdom here on earth. Why do I fight this? Why do I fight tooth and nail when his Spirit is calling me into a relational dependence? Oh...I know...control. Control is an ugly beast.

I don't know all I know about this book yet-it will take a BBQ with the BFF and family to really hash it out...I know that I want to see God differently-without "rules" or "conformity" and with all freedom and love.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Let the games begin

Well, it finally happened. What I never thought would happen has happened...I got the dreaded "email from the conservative relative concerned with my voting for Obama."

I love my cousin. He and I shared many great times together back in the day. He was there for me during a rough move to So. Cal in my senior year and made the move not so scary. He made me laugh on more than one occasion and I even paid my own way back to be at his wedding.

But today, sadly, I got sent the dreaded "I'm concerned for you" email. It was predicated on the Dobson rant and questioning of Obama's faith in his radio show. This has stirred up some ire on various forums I visit, but nothing that really concerns me. It really shows me that Dobson is misguided on his thinking and possibly should stick to psychology and not try to marry religion with it.

Anyhow, my cousin is concerned that our country is moving away from being biblically based. I countered with the fact that I never thought we were Biblically based. Most of the founding fathers were Deists or Atheists (Ben Franklin) and wanted their "right" to proclaim this. In fact, how Biblical is the statement that we "are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights." Ah...that's a negative. Jesus in fact says something more "upside down" than this in the Sermon on the Mount. I don't think us having "rights" was a big part of his motivation.

My cousin then went on to share his fear (FEAR is always a wonderful motivator) of how Obama would roll back all the "pro-life" stuff and that he would give homosexuals more favor. I am tired of these issues frankly. I think the God I serve is BIGGER than these two issues and in fact I am mandated to love the "gays and pro-choicers" and I do so happily with the understanding that Jesus loves them and died for them JUST AS MUCH as he died for me. In fact, I do not support suppressing anyone's "inalienable rights" Black, Hispanic, Muslim or Homosexual...if we have rights at all - they are for everyone.

I love my cousin and sadly time and distance have not allowed us to spend much time together in the last 20 years or so. I know how he was raised and I know theologically we would disagree on 99% of any issue. I love him though. I could care less if we agreed on issues...and I could care less if he changes his mind on any of them. I guess the bottom line is the love I have for him is greater than any political or theological difference. I hope he heard that loud and clear in my response to him.

Monday, June 23, 2008

When One applicant is ENOUGH

"Thank you for your inquiry. I can assure you that you are an applicant for the position and the Hiring Department is motivated to fill the position. They are waiting for a sufficient applicant pool before they choose applicants to interview and rest assured that I will notify you when things have reached that stage. Hope that helps!"

Direct quote from email to Green River Community College about the job they keep pushing back the deadline on...

THIS is encouraging. Please, keep praying.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The summer of my selfishness

I tried to go and rent a storage unit today. A nice concrete 5x10 to put all my worldly possessions. I don't have much...but what I have I like - it is me and my collections and somehow the thought of putting it in boxes and stuffing it away hurts my gut.

I drive to the little street where the big PUBLIC STORAGE sign looms overhead. I pulled in and lo-and-behold...there were NO parking spots. I drove around and even tried to park on the street but the huge sign said NO PARKING. So, what's a girl to do? Drive home and make fajitas and drink black cherry with VV? Of course!

Do I lack motivation? I don't think so..it's a very tough spot to be in and I resent it a little bit. I really do and I don't like to wallow. I can't even pray about it anymore. There are no answers that I want to hear. Yes, I admit...I don't want to listen to what God may be telling me and I don't want to do maybe what he's asking. I want my way and I'll stomp my foot and not find a parking place at the storage unit lot.

Welcome to the summer of my selfishness. I don't know if you'll stay long...but it's ok. I'm fine being alone.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

To Write Love on Her Arms

I have not blogged in forever. It gets that way with life sometimes.

I was driving the other day and saw this bumper sticker on the back of a person's car. It said "To Write Love on Her Arms." Personally, I HATE bumper stickers. Nobody gives 2 s*#ts what you think and you really think we're going to do what you say because it's on the bumper of your car? Yeah, guess again.

Anyway, this one I noticed for whatever reason and became intrigued. While all you smarties probably already knew what this meant,I did not and usually when the Lord is trying to tell me something or suggest something he'll bring things to my attention a few times until I get it. So, bumper sticker is intrigue #1. Then, today on Facebook I see a piece of Flair that says the same thing. Intrigue #2.

I decide to google the phrase to find out what it is. What a story. I am amazed and humbled and I gave money...which I have little of.

Please google the words and read the story. THIS, my friends, is what WE ARE TO BE ABOUT.

Thank you for the bumper sticker and the Flair. I get it.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

The sign says it all

The House goes up for sale next week. I'm meeting with my realtor on Wednesday to sign the paperwork. Then, I'll have to get a storage unit and start the "de-clutter" process. (See, this is what it took Jen!). I'm also having it cleaned by a professional (or 10) in order to get it really clean.

I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I don't want to move, I love my house and where I'm at. Yet I'm also excited at the possibility of making money on something - money to payoff debt I've incurred and maybe do something fun (Kauai 2009).

I'm also feeling the same way about living in community - which it looks more and more like this will be my option. Scared of unknowns and of feeling failure. Nobody needs to understand this...just know I feel it and however unrealistic the feeling is..I will own it. I'm also excited at the possibility of living purposely this way. It's a way I think, more and more, will have to be a viable option. Individualism is so last century!

I will post pictures of my house when it looks presentable. I also need a place for my cat - my mom is rejecting her and I don't want her to be around if people come looking. So, lots to think about and decisions to make.

I emailed the folks at Green River - they got my application package and they will let me know when the review process starts. I printed the email and hung it on my mirror in my bathroom. Just to remember to pray about opportunities, the future, change and all things collective.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

She made me - not responsible for the content.

The Kid Sister mandated that I blog...so I guess I will give all 2.3 of my readers something to read...

I have not been to the gym in weeks - and have fallen off the "diet" wagon something fierce. I went tonight and talked to my trainer - and we worked out together. It was really nice-he went easy on me and then we started talking about the future and when our "contract" would be over...which thankfully is in June. I told him that I really liked him and how we got along and that I couldn't afford the monthly payments any longer. It was something I did stupidly, thinking I could pay and it's been HELL every month to try and come up with the money.

He then said he would continue to train me-outside the "program" and I can pay him myself - $25/session. WTH? Are you kidding me? That is like 60% less than I'm paying now! And...I can come as often or as little as I want. What freedom! It made me want to continue with my routine of not going to the gym, but only going to see him! Nah..not really...I want to get back into the grind.

I miss the bff and the time I used to have to just hang out. What happened to that?

On the job front - my friend from the Salvation Army gave me a lead...not sure I qualify as it's a big wig job...and I still have not heard from the state. One of the jobs closes tomorrow...so, I could get a call to interview. Praying for that always.

That's it for now.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My weekend at Granny's

In an attempt to earn some much needed extra money, the kid sister and I are taking care of my 100 year old granny. She is amazing...her legacy and love of her family are something I can only hope to attain. It has been very, very, hard for me to see her decline - not mentally - but physically. She used to make really good pork-chops and make us Christmas cookies every year and shop for all of her 538 grandkids Christmas presents. They were the funniest presents but they were thoughtful and EVERYONE got something. Perhaps I get my gift-giving love from her.

While she is at her home still, she can't do anything for herself. Anything. So, my loving sister and I are going to stay with her. I am going to cook and clean and the kid sister (who has nursing aspirations) is going to do the grotty stuff. This is NOT something I want to do - I want her to be my granny - not someone who is incapable of helping herself. Needless to say, I'm praying for my own heart and that I may exhibit compassion.

Interestingly, I was reading Shane Claiborne's new book Jesus for President and he eloquently has a piece on the elderly. I quote part of it here:

In its worship of all things new and hip, US culture has sacrificed its relationship with the elderly and infirm. And most of the church has done exactly the same, putting older people into nursing homes and retirement centers.

So, I will spend the weekend at my Granny's and remember how very much she loves me - she was there when I was born and probably changed a diaper or two - now I can return the favor.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Happy Mother's Day Eve

Tonight going to the Mariner game with my entire family. I hope that they will actually win tonight. It would be nice.

I'm so excited that MNAC (mommy needs a cocktail) FINALLY has Auntie shirts! Maybe she can now start Auntie's Day so I get gifts and money...or something.

I am going to order one pronto! Brown, I think. I'm excited!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Sunday Night Prayer list

Since I hate Sunday nights...my family has instituted the Family Dinner...we each pick a place and decide to meet there on Sunday nights. It usually doesn't matter if one of us is busy or working...we plan to meet and we have done it now for 2 whole weeks in a row.

Here is my weekly prayer list...
1. Work...boss...co-workers
2. Resume going to GRCC & Highline CC
3. Looking for other opportunities.
4. My mom, dad, sisters, bros-in-law and Brent & Ellie
5. My pastor, his wife (the BFF) and Will & Lo
6. My friend Kat-facing surgery on Thursday.
7. Finances - that I continue to manage well.

That is one request for each day. Looking forward to a fun week of work (not), dinner with friends, working at Mosaic and Mother's Day.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Dad weighs in

Talked to my dad tonight about Nose Pierce 2008. His initial response was to comply and "grin and bear it" because that is what he did when any sort of controversy or issue was brought up about him or because of him. He said that he did this because he had a family to support and we couldn't very well get up and leave a church as one has to be "called" in order to go to another in our denomination.

He has since thought better. He said I don't need this job...and that I need to look at the primary reason (finances) and now the secondary reason (issue w/teacher & my boss) as a "sign" (not a good word...) that perhaps it is time to look elsewhere. This made a lot of sense as financially, with the re-fi and other issues, I've not been able to make it month to month. So, a job that pays $1000/mo more would enable me to relax and perhaps refinance my home. The nose is secondary.

He also had an issue with how my boss handled the situation. And this could be the "dad" talking but he was very surprised that my boss didn't defend me - that he waffled. Then I started to think, perhaps I didn't give my boss a fair shake in the explaining of what happened. However, what I explained to friends/family is what I HEARD - PERCEIVED him to say. Today, my boss and I had a good conversation and some of the issues of yesterday were resolved and for this I'm thankful. However, his resolution is not what mine is.

I'm still praying about this and praying that the reason I leave (if I choose to) is not because of anger or bitterness. My dad also said "where are they going to find someone like you?? It would be a big mistake for them to get rid of you..."

It's wonderful to be reaffirmed by friends and family - and to be loved by them. This is whose opinion I care about and who I believe know me and love me. I'll leave you with the parting words of my dad "You go for it girl."

Thanks dad...I love you.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

And then there was Thursday

I guess that I knew this day would come-just didn't really think it would be this fast. My boss received a "complaint" about the nose pierce that I currently sport. If you know me at all you know that I am pretty whimsical...I have purple hair, I have the occasional tattoo, and now a nose pierce. All of these serve to remind me that I am a broken human being in search of a fun and interesting way to live my life. They are not statements of rebellion (perceived or otherwise) and they are not meant to cause agitation.

However, I guess today the nose pierce crossed the line. A teacher at the place I am currently employed complained to her boss who then complained to my boss. So, my boss and I had the "talk" about the nose pierce and all the reasons why I was causing my "brother or sister" to have issues with me and my role at the place I am employed. So we discussed Paul's letter to Philippa in the 2nd chapter and I agreed with what my boss said - I could humble myself.

During the discussion, I was stunned, silent, cried a lot, tried to get my point across that I thought I worked for a place that was trying really hard to NOT be Pharisaical - but on this point they missed. I also wondered why my boss didn't stand up for me. Why he didn't mention that it wasn't written in the policy manual that employees are barred from any visible facial piercings (except ears) and that he really can't ask me to take it out - blah blah blah.

It was one of those moments when all of my witty banter, my intelligence and my arguments went out the window. I was faced with this complaint and possibly a person questioning my "witness" which in turn questions my spirituality. So, for all to hear...I say:

1. I believe in Jesus Christ and that he died for my sins
2. I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and my responsibility to act it out
3. I believe it is possible to love my neighbor and disagree with his/her doctrine
4. I believe that it is more important for Christians to live the gospels rather than worry about what is or isn't pierced.
5. I believe that perhaps it's my time to find another job.
6. I believe that while on one hand we say we want to do "kingdom work" we really prefer to cow tow to pharisees in order to "keep peace".
7. I believe that a nose pierce has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with my salvation.
8. I believe in the KINGDOM and not the EMPIRE, which is subtly disguised.

Anyway...I know there are strong opinions out there about my Christian witness and how I may be a role model or come in contact with folks who don't think it appropriate to have a nose piercing...and I will pray through that and pray for the one who complained. I certainly hope it's not worth quitting, but truth be told, that is how I feel right now. I'm sad, angry and don't want to show up tomorrow!

But, in the words of my very wise and loving mother (who I equate to the words of God himself) "If you believe what you say you believe you can't take the nose pierce out."

Well said mom. Well said.

I just went on the Green River CC website and there's a job opening for an academic advisor...starting salary: $46,900. Advice???

Wednesday, April 30, 2008


My mom, sister and I saw Corteo last night - a Cirque du Soleil performance. If you have never seen one in person - please go. Save up all year and take the family. It's worth it and about 2.5 hours of entertainment delight!

This story is of a clown who is "living" through his funeral and all of the quirky things that happen during the course of a funeral. The best part was when Valentina floated over the audience with the help of 5 huge balloons! It was really amazing.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Home sweet apartment-or sister's spare bedroom.

I've had this sneaking thought in the back of my mind for sometime and did not want to speak it because I didn't want it to be reality - but today it's entered my reality. I've been thinking that the reason I have not cleaned up my clutter within my home is due to the fact that I continued to believe that my re-fi options were limited and I would simply have to move anyway - so what did it matter? I did not care.

Now today, sadly...that's my reality. I was denied a re-fi today-mostly because 2 years ago I assumed I "heard" the Lord asking me to take a chance and take a pay cut and join Rainier Christian Schools. This has been an amazing time for me there. They have started to see that Christian education is available to the undignified and the disenfranchised - I've seen kids from addicted families come, from single mom's working at Wal-Mart, Foster kids going through the system. I know that I've made an impact on how we see these kids and their families and so I think I made the right decision.

Until today. What was I thinking? Taking a $14K pay cut is a serious issue and certainly made itself known to me today. I don't have any more debt than I did while at the UW - but my income went down so severely that it makes a huge difference.

All of this to say - I know a nice condo for sale in Renton...cheap! It will be an interesting few months and I am sad. Decisions will be made and choices of further employment or changing or something!

I will continue to de-clutter - maybe now for different reasons! I left work today to try and talk to my dad - I need the "buck up" speech in a big way. Stay tuned.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Go and sell everything

So I've tried to explain the change I've seen in the kid sister since we went to the conference last weekend and I'm not doing very well. So, the other day she said that she was selling some "priceless" possessions she had on eBay so she could further help those in need - like buy goats, chickens, kiva loan, etc.

Now, to her, these are possessions that will probably be painful for her to give up. BUT, she's the only one in my circle that has even pondered the idea. So, last night, sitting around the table with some friends, we were talking a lot about what we could sell - and together we decided to find something that to us is a priceless possession and sell it on eBay and either pool our money to fund education or goats for someone or to give individually. What a novel concept.

The idea is to consume less - and where we have over-consumed, to de-clutter, sell and give. It seems so damn simple when I sit here and type it - yet so hard when I go and actually try to do it.

I was up at 4:00 AM this morning asking myself what I have to sell. One suggestion was some shoes - but not really thinking anyone wanted to buy my worn shoes - but who knows? Maybe they would. Then I thought of my football jerseys. I love them and they are in pristine condition - so maybe someone would buy them.

The kid sister is putting ACTION behind words. Words are worthless without action - and I'm not talking the pithy "works" to justify our grace - don't get me wrong. I'm talking about doing the stuff Jesus said to do - rich young ruler or not!

What would you sell?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Oh be careful

Ok...so I'm addicted to www.naznet.com. It's a discussion board thingee where people in the COTN can come together and spout off, discuss theology, exchange recipes, or pontificate on who they know in the COTN (Church of the Nazarene). As usual, I have people I really like and people who I never want to meet in a dark alley or at General Assembly.

Another great thing about the Internet..you know instantly if you like someone and have never even met them!

Today I was reading another blog in the blogesphere...and sadly she quoted a song that I used to sing as a child. A song that luckily (and through major theological study) I have outgrown. It's sad to me that people still think that God is looking down on them...waiting for them to f*#k up - waiting...to nail them. Friends, folks, dear people, let me just say that I do not believe in a God like that! We are all broken people in need of mercy, grace and a Savior. He is not keeping a list and checking it twice.

I know you'll remember the song...sing it with me...

"Oh be careful little eyes what you see...oh be careful little eyes what you see...for the Father up above is looking down in love...oh be careful little eyes what you see."

Crap I say...pure crap.

Any other childhood songs that spark fear and loathing?

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The weekend and the rest of my life..in review.

I wanted to blog about this weekend's conference with Brian McLaren and all the great things he said and how he changed my thought process or paradigm. However...what I really want to blog about is the transformation I was able to witness in the kid sister.

She really gets it. Jesus has placed her here with me and a burden on her heart, for such a time as this...we are ready to take a chance and ready to enter into whatever...WHATEVER he has for us. Back to the days of the GLORY BUS!! I'm grateful that I was able to spend this weekend with her and with the BFF. It was eye-opening and exciting and I look forward to things to come. We will do something. We will do something. You can not sit idly by after a weekend like this.

As with any good and positive experience, it was kind of disappointing that there were not a lot of people of color there. Either they have already figured out how to be missional or there's not a great marketing plan for them. However, there were a wide range of ages and denominations represented, of which I was surprised.

Here are a few things I learned or will do:
1. We live in an unsustainable society - the United States uses more resources than anyone else by 30%.
2. We must change our story.
3. Jesus is concerned more with poverty, the planet and peace than he is with our doctrine or whether or not we drink/swear/dance (insert whatever you want here)
4. I will never use another grocery plastic bag again. Never is a strong word. But I will try!
5. I will sponsor an endangered species. Gorillas, tigers or salamanders..I will show somehow that I care about the environment.
6. You can't take the Old T. literally if you're not willing to take Matthew 5, 6 & 7 literally.
7. All issues are ultimately inter-related.
8. I will re-arrange my life to befriend a poor person (Does befriending myself count?)
9. I will vote responsibly in this election.
10. I will buy "green" toilet paper.
11. I will seek and try my very hardest to have grace for those that don't get it. You can attract more flies with honey than vinegar...I will try try try. Hard! UGH.
12. I will change my neighborhood for Christ. Somehow, someway, together...I promise.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Sorry, it's against Policy

This post is somewhat difficult for me as I am not sure which "side" I come down on - if that's even the right phraseology.

My church has several congregations that meet within the 25,000 square feet of space. These people have become friends and family and I'm so grateful to know them and share space with them. One of the congregations is Christian Missionary Alliance Vietnamese congregation. Yesterday they had a missionary speak to all of us in a great combined service.

This missionary ministers in Cambodia - to Vietnamese people immigrating to Cambodia. Now, if you had the chance to immigrate...would Cambodia be your first choice? Anyway - there's reasons, he said, that the Vietnamese come to Cambodia, although they are poorer than the Cambodians and have virtually no "rights" or freedoms as they are too poor to own property. This particular missionary started a ministry to the Vietnamese and started churches and a school.

Like any good missionary he told stories. These stories were both sad and great testimony to the Lord's good work. One such story was about a young girl who had attended this missionary school. She was about 13 and her father was ill and back in Vietnam. In order to pay for his care, the family needed to raise $400 US dollars. The mother of this young girl was faced with selling her daughter into prostitution to pay for their father's medical care. The mother visited the school in order to ask for the $400.00 and was turned away.

The school has a "policy" against loaning money to its students or their families. So...the mother sold her daughter into prostitution for $400.00. Several years later, the girl, now more of a woman - met the missionary and his family again. She was truly changed. She was no longer an innocent young girl.

I wanted to run, screaming from the building. I was furious that a stupid $400 stood in the way of this young girl's promise and potential. I understand...truly I do..the need to have "rules" and "policies" and blah blah blah. But for GOD'S SAKE...there was nothing you could do for her? Have you ever heard of Microlending? Nobody you could call? I wanted to shake this servant of God and ask him if this policy was working for him.

I want to understand the reason that a Godly organization would have said to this young girl's family "our policy overrides our ability to help you." I wonder how that conversation went. I guess I don't "get" ministry all that well. Maybe I shouldn't get involved in stuff I don't understand...but I can tell you-I would have begged, stolen and borrowed the money to help Ivy. I am sad I didn't get the chance and hope, in Jesus name, they change their policy.

Screw that...I know EXACTLY what side I come down on.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Question of the Day

There will be more about Paris later (like one week ago today I was at Disneyland Paris!) but this question has been weighing on my mind, heart, soul today. It could be the cold medicine I'm taking - not feeling too well.

Have you ever heard the Holy Spirit tell you to do something and you ignored him - perhaps thinking you mistook his prompts for indigestion, crazy talk, or your mother whispering in your ear?

Just wondering.

Today was a hard, hard day at work - not for me, but for my boss. I will blog about it soon. I call it Meltdown 2008.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Paris Diary - Part Un

I was awaiting pictures of Paris before I blogged-as the stories are so much better with pictures!

It was an awesome time with my sweet mom and super-cool sisters. My BIL was there too and he and I have a great relationship - so that was fun to hang out with him. We watched the entire season six of Family Guy while in Paris. Yes, my BIL is cool.

We got there and our luggage did not. We had to run...literally...to our connecting flight from JFK to CDG (Paris). We got in late due to time issues at JFK and circling the airport for a bit. So, needless to say, our luggage didn't quite make it.

Then we get to our apartment - and it's a five floor walk-up. That was good for the exercise. The one-person elevator was so tiny that it took me a little while to get used to the idea. Then the WC...oh my. I'm not good with measurements but it was tiny...I almost had to open the door in order for my booty to fit inside. Then my knees hit the wall in front of me. Paris is not for chubby chicks!

Thursday was spent just walking around our neighborhood. We were on the same block as a huge Basilica (picture to follow) and the bells tolled for us occasionally. Our luggage arrived that night - at about 11:00 pm. The next day was Good Friday. We walked around our surroundings - found a grocery, bakery, and other necessities. No Starbucks though. We ate lunch at a little brassiere and it was interesting. The French cafes have a simple menu - usually only about five items; duck, chicken, beef, pasta and a special of the day. It was hard to pay $30 (US) for a pasta dish but I did it and it was interesting.

On the way home from our day I popped into the Basilica - as it was Good Friday, they were having the Stations of the Cross all in French. It was interesting to share this experience with those half way across the world. The church was very stark and cold - very traditional. Friday evening, we ate Spaghetti in the apartment. My mom made it and it was really tasty! For dessert: Creme Brulee that you could buy in the dairy section of the grocery store!! What a concept!

Next, I'll blog about the chunnel, London, and falling asleep during The Lion King.

I'm sure you're breathless with anticipation!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Holy Week

I am leaving for Paris tomorrow..but wanted to at least blog about Holy Week in case I don't get the chance in France.

Jesus said several things from the cross on Friday. This culminated with his final statement, said in a loud voice as required by custom...Father into thy hands I commend my spirit."

I've heard lots of explanations on why Jesus said this and what each word means.

In truth, I really like the most simple explanation. It is part of a prayer that all
1st century Jewish mothers taught their children. It is how we think of "now I lay me down to sleep..." although way more eloquent.

Here is the prayer - in full. Jesus could only say the brief second line as he was dying. I can't even type it without crying - knowing that Jesus, dying on a cross, prayed the prayer his mother taught him as a young boy - culminates his full life and mission on earth. I love him SO much - read and memorize...and be reminded of the amazing work in the Garden, on the Cross, and from the Tomb.

"In thy hands are the souls of the living and the dead. Into thy hands I commend my spirit. Thou hast redeemed me, Oh Lord, oh God of truth.

The name of the Lord God of Israel, may Michael be on my right hand, Gabriel at my left hand, before me, Uriel, behind me Raphael, and above my head, the presence of God."

Friday, March 14, 2008

Do you want fries with that senior discount?

Take a close look at my receipt from Carl's Junior yesterday.

So, needless to say I had a heart to heart with the nice lady that rang up my order. Her name was Dora. Once I noticed this, I called her over to my table and asked her what about me made her think I should get the Senior Discount. She shushed me and said "don't tell...I thought you needed a break."

Well, we started talking and she wove a tale of her life (she was 65 and I REALLY wanted to know if she REALLY thought I was close to her age...). She works at Carl's Junior first of all. She was married to a man that beat her up so she got an annulment from him - then she married another guy and had a son. He went to Viet Nam and is currently MIA. So, she can't get any funds for her or her son because technically, he's not "dead."

She lives in Federal Way and her son is a manager at McDonalds and has been since 1994!

You know, my mom said in a comment recently on this blog, that there are daily affirmations of God moving in our lives and sometimes we don't realize it or notice it at all. Today, through a senior discount, I met a woman and was able to affirm her and thank her for working at Carl's and getting me my Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My Daily Bread

So most of you know that I work at a Christian School - we charge tuition to attend our school and most people don't even blink an eye about paying 5...6...7...thousand dollars/year to send their kids here. It's a pretty good school, small classes, committed teachers..you know the drill.

There are some who can't pay. There are some who need their kids to have the stability of the same class, teacher and friends each day because their lives are falling apart at home. There are Isaac's, Helen's, Nai's, Mario's, and a host of others that I get to pray for and love. This is why I'm glad I work here-to minister to these families. Single moms & dads, kids on DSHS, etc.

One family in particular has had their share of troubles this year. Dad is an alcoholic. He has struggled with his addiction for many years and finally sought treatment in a residential facility just this past November. Mom has been the sole bread-winner of the household and Kobe & Caleb continue to come to school everyday...and nobody pays their tuition. I've talked to both mom and dad and asked them to try to come up with a payment plan. I get a lot of promises and hopes, but in the end - no payment. But we all know those boys need our school and its stability. So...we trudge through.

Due to his alcoholism, dad had to undergo double hip-replacement surgery in January. He is 34 years old. They started paying $50.00/month toward their 12,000 bill and today he brought in homemade bread and gave it to me. I was so touched that I almost couldn't hold it together. He used to come in and not ever talk, embarrased by his overwhelming debt. Today, he talked, laughed, donated some time to our upcoming auction and gave me homemade whole wheat bread.

I remember passing judgment on this man for what he was doing to his family. Today, the Lord taught me the power of a loaf of bread and the power of his healing hand on the life of Ken, Katie, Casey and Kory. Thank you for teaching me and may I have eyes to see, ears to hear and mouth to taste homemade bread!

Friday, March 07, 2008

Happy Graduation!

My dad teaches at Edmonds Community College in their DSHS Work First program. He teaches Asset Development and his students are all single parents with children. He teaches them that they are an asset and need to take care of themselves, make good choices and begin to develop monetary assets when they get out of the program. The program is in medical billing and administration and most of the girls get jobs in hospitals or doctor's offices. Their starting salaries have been anywhere from $15.00/hour to $20/hour - so quite a step up!

Last night was their graduation for this group of six women. They all have issues and kids and it's so fun to see them celebrate their success on this graduation night. It is also nice to see their families come and support them.

Margaret - homeless mother of two - received the highest grades (4.0) and won the award for perfect attendance! Pray for her as she is living in a shelter and has only a few more days to find a job and get transitioned before her time is up at the shelter.

Tammy - Mother of 5 - various fathers - all kids were there and very well behaved and kind. She lives with her mom (who has no teeth!) and is still looking for a job.

Debby - 47 years old and has adult onset ADHD. Spent the entire 45 minute graduation fixing her graduation cap - pinning and re-pinning the bobby pins.

Noy - single mother of three and heroin addict. She has been clean for a few months and has to have drug tests every three days. She has a job starting next week at Evergreen Hospital!

There was one girl who had to drop out of this cohort. She was kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend and held for several days. She finally was released and is back home recovering. She can re-start the program in the summer time.

There are others - and my dad has a whole new group of students starting next week. This time he has 17 - and one single dad! My dad is truly in his element! He is proud of his students and is probably the only positive male influence in their lives-you can tell they respond to him and his quirks with love. They all hooted and hollered when he got up to speak and you can tell that they learned a lot from him - mostly about self-esteem and that they are their #1 asset!

I was proud to be there and proud of these women for making this step for their kids and themselves.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Being the daughter of a teacher was a wonderful treat. Growing up, books were very much part of my life. My mom made sure we always had books - and always good ones - and we usually got one or two for each holiday and birthday. Remembering these books is good for me and remembering the love of reading that my mom instilled in me is also something I want to instill in others. I also remember realizing that my mom also had favorite books when she was little and she shared those books with me and my sisters.

I've listed a few of my favorite books here - in hopes that maybe you'll pick one up and read it or you'll remember some favorite books of your childhood and maybe comment on them here.

Swimmy - this is such a fun little book about a little fish that swims against the crowd. It was how my folks taught me that it's ok to be different and that everyone is worth something.

Make Way for Ducklings - I loved this story of a little family of ducklings and the peril of living in the Public Garden. Can you name the ducklings? I'll get you started...Jack, Pack...

Harriet the Spy - Harriet was spunky and fun and a true "tom-boy". I was called a boy more often than I liked when I had a bowl haircut...so I identified well with Harriet. I also would love to be a spy.

Where the Red Fern Grows - A heart wrenching story about a boy and his hound dogs. I am not sure why I don't like dogs as this was one of my favorite books. Thanks to Mr. Larsen for introducing this book to me during 5th grade outdoor camp!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas - the kid sister got her nickname from this book - because she looked exactly like Cindy Lou Who. This book proves that even a Grinch can have a change of heart - makes me hopeful!

Der Struwwelpeter - (pictured above) My 100 year old Granny is German and her mom came over and was a nurse in Chicago before moving to Seattle...therefore, this was introduced to me by my granny. Now, the German's don't mess around and these are 10 stories of children (also illustrated) who misbehave in some way and then get nailed - some very grotesquely. The moral is pretty clear and I was duly afraid to misbehave! My favorite one was about the little boy who WOULD NOT stop sucking his thumb...so this scary guy came in and cut off both his thumbs (with pictures!!). I was a finger sucker...so this moral was not lost on me! You really should read these - they are profound for a book from 1845!

These are just a few of my favorite books - I know you had favorites as a kid...list them here and tell us why!

Friday, February 29, 2008

Yes we Can (part two)

I was talking to my mom on the phone last night and I said that I loved that I could call her and say "vote for Barack" and she would say "Okay!". Now, my mother is college educated and very smart...she is not a sheep (my dad may be!) and is capable of making her own decisions, but it's kind of fun that she jumps on board and is willing to listen to her kids' passion.

She also has NEVER voted for a democrat in her entire life!

Way to GO MOM!!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Science Fair 2008

Today I got to be the Science Fair judge at our Kent View Elementary Science Fair. Normally, I sit in my office, looking out at nature (there were FIVE deer out today) and play with my eco-sphere, lady bug hut, or ant farm. I do work, but I don't see kids as I work in administration.

So today was a lot of fun for me. I got to see the kids that are the reason we exist! I was a judge for the grades 2-4 science fair projects. I loved, loved Japandeep's experiment with hot water and plastic bottles. What a sweet little girl she is and it was c.l.e.a.r. that she did her own project - no help from mom & dad.

I also loved Cole's birdnests. He found them on the farm he lives on (see mom's blog here: www.dianesfarm.blogspot.com)

I really liked Michael's project. He was very proud to present the balloon filling with vinegar and salt. His mom is a single parent who wants him to go to Christian School and she struggles to make her payments every month - but does it...and then helped him with his science project! Way to go!

Also, there was Nai - a new kid this year - has hella anger issues but you wouldn't know it when he presented his parachute project. He did not have one report written but when he presented it to us, it was GENIUS! He even MADE the parachutes....himself...I hope he gets honorable mention.

People think that Christian School is for the rich or the holy...but today I saw the reason that I work there and truly the real reason I hope to continue to be there and that is to make sure kids are loved and that this kind of education is open and available to ALL regardless. I know that is why I'm there.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

A chubby girl's guide to hiking (always bring T.P.!)

The past two weekends the kid sister, her dog Griffey and I have gone out on nature hikes around the Puget Sound. Last weekend we hiked the Preston-Snoqualmie trail all the way to the end. There was a lovely view of the Falls and the Lodge and I couldn't help but wish I was inside, eating a 4-course country breakfast with a Chocolate Pot. If you've never been...GO!!

Anyhow, that was a three mile - two hour jaunt and the last forty minutes was all up hill. My rear-end was sore for three days. Being the novice hikers that we are, we failed to bring any water or peanuts with us.

Today, we went to Cougar Mountain and hiked Trail W1 - four miles round trip. This time we brought energy drinks and water. So about 2.5 miles in I had to stop and made the mistake of drinking my entire energy drink all at one time. I made it about another .5 of a mile and then all hell(or should I say all my bowels) broke loose! I ran into the woods, asked the kid sister if she could see me, grabbed a branch and squatted! Whew...

Needless to say I left a piece of myself behind on Cougar Mountain. I need to always remember to bring a small bit of t.p. with me on each and every nature hike. Words to the wise.

Next weekend...it's a surprise, but I get to pick the hiking spot.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I got tagged

I knew Missy Ortiz (Melissa Baldwin from beediva.blogspot.com) in college and it's been fun to "confess" who I was in love with back then - people we knew!! So, she tagged me - which to be honest, I don't really know what that means. However, according to her rules...I have to put up 7 things you may not know about me. As Melissa, I'm pretty open with people so it will be hard to come up with things that won't make my mom faint dead away and things you actually may not know. Then I have to tag people - so beware! You may be next!

Well, here goes...

Thing #1 - I love...love...love football. Not just a passing fancy. I am addicted to football so please don't schedule board meetings, work, family gatherings or anything else near a football game. I need plenty of time to get my "game face" on.

Thing #2 - I have four tattoos. I have a tramp stamp of flowers, a ladybug, the Chinese symbol for forgivness and on my upper back...my very favorite QUEEN BEE - with a little bee wearing a crown.

Thing #3 - Following Melissa's lead...I'm an Open Theist and think evolution is cool (o.k. my friend Diane just had a small heart attack). I love to dialogue with others about Jesus. HE IS why I live and HE IS who I want to serve-the other stuff is all debatable!! I have strong opinions about a lot of things, but, for me, it all comes down to Jesus and knowing him better and understanding his Kingdom commands. This has not stopped me from having several faith crises during my journey. Those are fun to talk about as well.

Thing #4 - I would love to take a road trip cross country. I dreamed about this with my middle sister and she went and got married and had babies. Now we're kind of old and involved...but I would still love the chance to visit places in this great country of ours.

Thing #5 - Once, while in China, I ate...sheep vagina. There...I said it.

Thing #6 - I probably have, in my closet right now and overflowing onto the bedroom floor, at least 70 pairs of shoes.

Thing #7 - I really like beer and do not think that has any bearing on my spirituality or love of Jesus. It does have a bearing on my waist. Sadly.

That's it. Really random and strange. I'm sure that everyone knew all that already - mabye except #5. There is more I could say...but some is just too embarassing!!

OK...here's the rules:

- List 7 random things about yourself that people may not know.
- Link the person who sent this to you, and leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours.
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. Sadly, I don't have 7 blog friends. Is it bad to love those I do have??

So, I'll tag Theologymom (theworldaccordingtochrista.blogspot.com) & Lori (lorifelder.blogspot.com). Sorry, my blogspot "insert link" feature is not working on my work computer...so I'm 100% ghetto and proud of it!


Saturday, February 16, 2008

Babysitting Weekend - it's what us single gals do

This weekend the kid sister and I have been babysitting and currently, instead of minding our two charges...we're blogging and watching Food Network. The kids are fine. They're around here somewhere.

I love kids. I really do - even though the hard candy shell would say otherwise. I especially love these two. For some reason, they crack me up. Will is very much a boy and loves to play trains, Optimus Prime, and Pokeman. He is also very loving and loves his booty spanked (in love of course). He climbs all over you and then says "can I kiss you?" What could be better?

Then there's Lora. She is hilarious and loves to play dolls, or just sit in your lap. She has the mind of a steel trap and remembers everything you ever said to her EVER. This can be good and bad. It's hard to put her off because she'll remember it and then you're on the hook. Christa once said that due to her lack of sight, the enormous amounts of information she takes in and processes would boggle our minds. Since a lot of our sensory information is processed through vision, we can only imagine what she must do simply to make sense of her surroundings. She is so fun and funny and it's never a dull moment with her. She loved her Valentine Barbie and is now taking a bath with it while I still blog and still watch t.v.

Don't worry, the kid sister is down there. I'm glad to be part of these kids lives and maybe...just maybe...make an imprint on their hearts.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

They make me get on the scale and I say NO NO NO

So, I guess if you're a drugged out singer with bad hair and bad eyeshadow you win a grammy - who knew! Anywho...

I don't want to weigh tonight. The scale has stayed exactly the same all week - which is not a good sign as the WW scale weighs heavier than my home scale. So, it's not good. I logged 240 activity minutes this week too. I cheated only on the weekend - maybe two meals. I'm at the frustrating (a.k.a. quitting point) as I'm doing the "right" stuff and it's not showing up anywhere.

That's where I'm at.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Great Purge & Weight Loss of 2008

I watched Oprah the other night and the show was about organizing your clutter. This was a novel concept until the author (Peter Walsh) on the show suggested that the clutter in my house could be contributing to why I am fat. His book is called "Does this Clutter Make my Butt Look Fat." Catchy...real catchy. You gotta love a book that features the author's full picture on the front cover.

This was an interesting concept. Therefore, if you declutter, it would stand to reason then that the weight would come off. Lo & behold, the family they featured decluttered and started the weight loss journey.

I see some of that in my own home. I have clutter. Not bad clutter but a lot of crap that needs to be either removed, stored, tossed, donated or re-purposed. I have taken inspiration from my blog friends to do this but didn't make it very far. Yet, if it's contributing to my weight gain (or making me fat) then I want to get rid of it pronto!

Pop psychology? Maybe. However, I now have two huge Rubber Maid tubs to take to the Goodwill next time I go to Seattle!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Get taxes done...check

I filed my taxes today..while at work. I was bored and turbo tax sends me my sign-on name like every two days...so I thought "what the heck...let's see how much I will owe the IRS this year."

Lo & behold...I don't owe anything! I'm actually getting money back. Now, mind you I took an ungodly amount of money from every 401(b) I've ever had just to survive this year and had to pay some equally ungodly penalties..but I'm still getting some money back...just in time to spend it in Paris! It sucks to change jobs, leaving behind the comfort and security of a high paying State job to be able to do your taxes in the middle of the day and leave at 3:30 to go work out.

On another note...

I am excited that Barack Obama is coming to Seattle tomorrow! I have friends who are going - but alas, I will be "working" or something resembling work. I've heard predictions that there may be upwards of 10,000 people at his rally. Amazing!

Then Saturday, I head out to caucus for the first time. I even talked to my mom about it and may have convinced her too, if she wasn't babysitting my 100 year old granny. I told her she'll still have a chance if she wants. I was proud of her for stepping outside of the "red" zone and into the fray. She is awesome.

It kind of looks like Barack is looking at Lady Elaine...they look good together. Possible running mate?

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Super Tuesday

For many years, I could have cared less about the presidential race. I didn't even vote in the last election as I was flying home from Kauai. Mostly I have not been passionate about anyone running and I don't think the Commander in Chief really gives a rat's arse about my issues...bra..bra...bra.

That's all changed.

Today 24 states cast votes in the closest thing to a National Primary we've ever had. I am so excited that I want to sit by a t.v. from 5:00 PM until it's over. I'm not even going to WW tonight (well, going to weigh in, and come back to theologymom's house to watch).

It helps having friends who are into it too. You've heard of Oscar parties, Survivor parties, American Idol parties...well this is a Super Tuesday party! Kick the kids downstairs, grab the butter-free popcorn and let the votes be cast!

It's predicted that if Obama can win MA, MO, & California he will have enough to secure the nomination. That's a tough road. BUT, there's also a chance if he only wins two of those states. And the double digit lead by his opponent has diminished.

Stay tuned...it's going to be an exciting road!!

P.S. for some reason...blogger's spell check is not working so that is my disclaimer!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Cheater cheater bread pudding eater

For the first time since January 8th, 2008...I cheated. I really went all out and cheated. I went to the Ram with a girlfriend from work and ate fajitas and bread pudding. It was soooo good and we shared and didn't eat the whole thing. Still, according to WW - it's 13 points. So, add that to the fajitas and the rest of the stuff I ate yesterday and a whopping 10 extra points were used. I did work out...but still....

I am not sure how today will end up - so far so good however. I'll have to wait until game time to see if those Sweet Maui onion chips will call my name.

I still feel good about the whole experience. I don't feel horrible about it - I planned the cheat meal and knew what I was going to eat. I went in knowing...and had some semblance of a plan. Plus, it's still three days away from weigh in. I can always resort to two-a-days to get down a few pounds.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Call me crazy

You all can call me crazy...but I went online and looked at clothes at The Gap today. I have not been able to fit anything other than Old Navy plus size, or Lane Bryant for probably 10 years...so even looking was kind of hard.

I also may purchase a pair of carpi pants that I found. Call them "goal" pants or 10 lb pants or whatever...but something to motivate me to keep going. I just need them in my hand - with a different label - one that says "The Gap".

I was up at WW by .4 (point four) yesterday. It's probably the latte I drank right before weighing in...but it still stymies my conscious when I see the + before the number.

I didn't really even have NSV's this week. I drank tons of water, exercised my arse off and still...PLUS .4!!

It's a journey...a marathon journey and it helps that even the skinny girls there that I talk to struggle with the same issues that I do. I love it still and it so helps to have the accountability of Theology Mom.

I'll let you know about the Gap pants. I'm not sure if I'm that brave yet.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Eye to Eye

I just a very long email to my BFF. You know the kind of email where you're so mad you just keep typing and you forget to punctuate and you don't care if words are spelled wrong and you hope that they will just read it and be mad about the same thing you're mad about?? One of those kinda emails.


Sometimes, doing what we know is right is so much more difficult especially when you add in other people who are also trying to do what's right and you just do NOT see eye to eye. For me, though, having a BFF I can shoot an email to helps. She doesn't need to talk me off a ledge or anything...just read it. Knowing she knows really helps.

I think I may be tired - exhausted. I am sure this has a lot to do with my situation of not being willing to do what I need to do. Actually there's a lot that goes into it besides mere exhaustion.

My pastor talked today about Jesus' calling his disciples. They didn't have to be the best of the best (like in Top Gun), they just had to be willing. I know that we've been called to a bigger and greater ministry, it's just sometimes it's hard and exhausting and people are protective of time and resources. I'm tired. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm jumping ship.

A blog is a great place to vent too. The blog gods don't care.

I need to remember to run with perseverance the race set before me. It's a long journey and sometimes I get shin splints or a side ache...but I gotta keep going. Even if I don't always agree with those running alongside me or those who are not as committed. The journey is worth it.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Yes We Can!!

Go Barack!! South Carolina down and Super Tuesday to come!!

Out of many we are one!

Obama/Edwards '08

Friday, January 25, 2008

WW Funnies

I really like Weight Watchers - for a lot of reasons. It's fun to hang out with my BFF every week and eat really, really good dinners. It's also fun to have someone to hang out with at the meetings.

The meetings are fun and I really like our meeting leader. She works at the UW in a building I used to work in as well. She also helps us to think about NSV's (non-scale victories). This helps keep us motivated. During our last meeting, I leaned to Theology Mom and said that one of my NSV's was being able to put my hand down my pants. We laughed at this as it's kind of funny, but does show that some of my pants are getting too big.

So, when our leader asked for any NSV's we had this week (and I really really wanted a sticker) I raised my hand and said that I could now put my hand down my pants. It was funny and the gal in front of me turned to me and said "I bet you could count some activity points for that too!"


I'm down 9 lbs so far, and I love it. It's a "real" world non-diet. I'm still able to go out and eat and make choices that help get me where I want to go. Paris sounds good!

Have a good weekend and remember NSV's are IMPORTANT!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Don't worry..you'll find a man

One of the joys/downsides of working in Xtian ministry is devotions every morning. We started with Oswald Chambers book My Utmost for His Highest...but it was too "taxing" for some so we switched to a Max Lucado book. Talk about taxing. It's all in perception I suppose.

Today, in devotions, we were talking about my bosses daughter. She is a junior in college and her boyfriend called their house last night to ask her dad (my boss) if he could ask her to marry him. Bra bra bra...(blah blah blah). So, my boss has another daughter who is more interested in changing the world than in men and really has a hard time with men in general. Just has a higher expectation than most can live up to. He's told stories about this daughter and she has a personality a lot like mine (from what I can tell) and she's older than this newly engaged daughter.

I responded to this great news of the morning by saying "poor Hannah...this might be tough for her." And my boss agreed but then this other guy that works with us says "oh...she'll find a man!"

I kind of looked at him and said "and what if she doesn't? Is that o.k. too?" He was embarrassed and sheepishly said "well, she used to babysit our kids..." As if that was the holy grail of finding a husband!

This has stuck with me all day because apparently in his world - as in most - there's something wrong with those of us that have not been fortunate enough to journey this world with a significant other. There must be something wrong with me (I'm fat, I like football, I have a bad attitude) as in his eyes - it's NORMAL for everyone to find someone and then life goes on.

I am working on forgiving him for his shallowness and having blinders on what God can do through even those of us who are single.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Happy Birthday Hillary

It's my youngest sister's 28th birthday today. I have a few memories of that day, but funny enough, they don't involve her.

It was a Sunday and we all got ready to go to church and Holly and I came upstairs and I remember going to get in the car in the garage and seeing my mom sitting up in bed. Of course, my dad being the great communicator to everyone else but his young daughters, didn't tell us what was going on. It was just plan WEIRD that mom was not going to church with us.

I remember after church people coming up to me and asking if I was excited to have a new baby and I must be so happy. Little did I know that my dad, from the platform, had announced that my mom was in labor and he was leaving from church (notice the dedication...) to take her to the hospital. Thanks Dad for sharing with us.

I also remember not ever knowing Hillary was born. We went to Cal & Ruth Ketchum's house to spend the next few days and went to Papa's pizza that Sunday night. Somebody, maybe my dad, called the pizza place and told Cal that I had a sister. I do remember talking to my mom on the payphone from Papa's.

Childbirth in the 60's, 70's & 80's was a LOT different than it is now.

I am glad Hillary was born - however I found out. She keeps me young and very stylish and takes me to Paris! Thanks Hillary - I love you!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Here ya go Anonymous!

Last night at the store I was behind a young woman who had several things in her cart. She told the checker that she only had $27.00 (cash) and if she was going to go over that, she didn't want her celery.

Well, she got to the celery and had already rung up $26.00 (it appeared as if she were making homemade chicken soup as she had chicken, stock, noodles, etc) and so couldn't afford to pay for her celery.

She paid for her order and I said "I'll get your celery for you" and she looked at me and the checker looked at me, all very confused. I said again "I'll get the celery for you." She looked at me and said "Wow, Thanks a lot!"

It was $2.18.

Is that living the words I preach? Man I sure hope it is...

Monday, January 14, 2008

The congenial Jesus

I was talking to a co-worker the other day about her son and the choices in music he was making for his I-pod. She was telling me that she needed to review some of his choices to ensure he was not listening to Snoop Dog or something (I guess) and in my wittiness I popped off and said "You know, Jesus said it's not what goes into a man that makes him unclean."

This is a very funny and quite appropriate remark, in keeping with the situation. However, she just kind of looked at me funny and said something like "I didn't know he said that."

This comment has rested with me for about a week. You didn't know that Jesus said that. It started me thinking of this crappy, so-called Christian life that we (not you, gentle blog reader...think of someone you may know) live. This life knows NOTHING of Jesus - the Savior of our souls and of the universe. The very one who ushered in the Kingdom of God on earth and we have the audacity to NOT KNOW what he says?

Friends, please, read the Gospels. Start with Matthew. Skip the birth genealogy and stuff and get straight to the Sermon on the Mount. Please..just three chapters 5, 6, & 7. That's it! Start there. Please know something that Jesus said by the time you read my blog again. He's at least worth that. Start with Matthew 7:21. That'll wake you up.

Surprisingly, I do not think you will find someone congenial to lack of knowledge in him, the poor or the disenfranchised. I don't care either if you know the Old Testement, know the Pauline letters or even Jude & Revelation. How can we not know the words of Jesus?

C'mon...drop and give me 20!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Nothing bugs me more

than when Gmail is down! I have not received one piece of email all day! It could just be my work computer is lame.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

WW - Day one

I was pleased with my WW experience last night. I really liked the meeting leader and all the information was good. I didn't feel like I was being sold a bill 'o goods and I felt it was a genuine experience.

I started off today with 5 points for breakfast...I realize it's only 8:41 am so, hoping to keep the points within my realm. I'm excited and encouraged and realize that getting those stickers is my #1 goal! I love the point concept. It's yet another mind game for me that I think will really work...I simply CAN NOT go over my allotted points for the day. Simple yet strategic.

On another note, I'm disappointed in the N.H. elections. Yet, once again, I was inspired by Barak's speech. He is passionate about what he wants to do for this country and he speaks from the heart. I am inspired.

On yet one more note...my personal trainer quit today. Her last day is January 18th. I am really bummed out. I really liked her and what she taught me and feel a set back before I really even get WW off the ground! She has a lot of reasons for leaving and I told her that I didn't want anyone else to train me...so we may have an American Gladiator type battle between me and L.A. Fitness over this. I refuse to pay for another trainer. You think that will work?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The road less travelled

I had to change blog layouts. I'm not creative enough to make one myself but I couldn't stand the darkness. I needed spring! color! tequila! This color is called Tequila.

I'm starting Weight Watchers tonight with my BFF. This is not something new for me...as I've been down this road many times. But it's new in sharing. I don't share a lot but feel this is an important thing to share as I need accountability and responsibility. It will be nice to record and track eating and points and see where I stumble. My biggest stumble is eating out. I LOVE eating out with friends and family. It is what makes my life bearable and fun. So, with WW I think it's a bit more easy to eat out - but we'll see.

It's a new day, a new layout, a new covenent, a new year! Here's my mantra: I will get a date in 2008!!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Weekend Highlights

Here are a few snippets of weekend highlights:

-Friday night started it off right with dinner with Hillary and my BFF and her cute family just home from California. It was fun to sit at Claim Jumper and chat.

-Did not go the gym Friday, Saturday or Sunday..it's still a possibility today, but this quilt I'm under is just too cozy.

-Worked at Mosaic yesterday. It was nice to see that I had not lost my skills after so much time off. Also realized how much I love that place and what it "does" for the community of faith I belong to-it allows a place of service to random strangers and golfers.

-Watched the Seahawks beat the Redskins. We were at Holly's and ALL had Seahawks gear on (including my dad). It was one of the most fun days I've had in a long while. We were up and down and yelling and screaming and finally celebrated with hot dogs and burgers! What a game!!

-Went to dinner with my friends from the UW. We get together about once every 8 weeks or so and remember how thankful we are that we no longer work there under that "regime". Sorry Kyra...the five year plan has you outta there shortly!

-Participated in the 2008 Wesley Covenant service today at church.

-Laughed when while at Chili's today after church, the waiter asks me and my nephew Brent what we'd like to drink by saying "What can I get you ladies to drink?" Brent and his long and luxurious red hair, did not appreciate it. He said "Now I'm getting a high & tight." The waiter was very embarrassed and called him "bud" the entire rest of the time.

-Praying that my dad will get the job he's interviewing for tomorrow (Corporate training). It's a lot of money that they need!

-Now will head into the evening watching the Chargers and the Titans, looking at school work and wishing the quarter did not start tomorrow!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

From Ben Witherington's blog

Lord forgive us for our Biblical illiteracy, and for whittling off the hard edges of Scripture because they rub us the wrong way. Forgive us for our arrogance and ignorance which is always a lethal combination. Forgive us Lord for treating our cultural preferences as if they were Biblical absolutes, and forgive us for perverting your Gospel which is Good News for the poor into empowerment for those who long to be richer, wealthier, scratching the itch of a greedy soul. Lord forgive us our sense of entitlement and for treating you as if you were the great Santa Claus in the sky whose mission in life is to fulfill all our worldly longings and desires.
~ Dr. Ben Witherington

This is from Dr. Witherington's personal blog and is part of a prayer he has posted there. I suggest reading the entire prayer as it's powerful and true. I took this snippet and quote it here because I need to remember this today and everyday.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


There's nothing that strikes fear in my heart more than a late night phone call. I lay there and play out scenarios in my head of who has died or who is in the hospital. This probably stems from my childhood days when my dad was pastor of a large church in Eugene and he would get late night calls of people sleeping and drinking and doing other lewd and lascivious acts on church property. He would have to get out of bed and go down there. We did not live close and I never understood why his name was on the list.

So, last night...I'm laying there trying to deal with this surge of bad news that awaits me on the end of this phone call. I go and see the caller i.d. on the cell phone and it's a "wrong number" or number I don't recognize and have not been able to identify using all of my collection techniques.

So, MR/MS 425-223-3745 - you are dead to me and your number is published for all the world to see! At least all six people that may read my blog.

About Me

I work at a Christian School district only 4 miles from my home. The people there are full of grace and love and I am glad to be a part of this ministry. I have a neice and nephew whom I love dearly. They are 12 and almost 15 respectively. I have two amazing sisters and two amazing brothers-in-law. Of course, I would not be here if it were not for my mother agreeing to marry my dad. Good going mom! My parents are my life and I would literally be NOTHING without their unconditional love, support and care. You rock mom and dad. Then there's Will & Lora...their giggles are like sunshine and their parents crack me up too.

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