The sign says it all

The House goes up for sale next week. I'm meeting with my realtor on Wednesday to sign the paperwork. Then, I'll have to get a storage unit and start the "de-clutter" process. (See, this is what it took Jen!). I'm also having it cleaned by a professional (or 10) in order to get it really clean.

I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I don't want to move, I love my house and where I'm at. Yet I'm also excited at the possibility of making money on something - money to payoff debt I've incurred and maybe do something fun (Kauai 2009).

I'm also feeling the same way about living in community - which it looks more and more like this will be my option. Scared of unknowns and of feeling failure. Nobody needs to understand this...just know I feel it and however unrealistic the feeling is..I will own it. I'm also excited at the possibility of living purposely this way. It's a way I think, more and more, will have to be a viable option. Individualism is so last century!

I will post pictures of my house when it looks presentable. I also need a place for my cat - my mom is rejecting her and I don't want her to be around if people come looking. So, lots to think about and decisions to make.

I emailed the folks at Green River - they got my application package and they will let me know when the review process starts. I printed the email and hung it on my mirror in my bathroom. Just to remember to pray about opportunities, the future, change and all things collective.

She made me - not responsible for the content.

The Kid Sister mandated that I blog...so I guess I will give all 2.3 of my readers something to read...

I have not been to the gym in weeks - and have fallen off the "diet" wagon something fierce. I went tonight and talked to my trainer - and we worked out together. It was really nice-he went easy on me and then we started talking about the future and when our "contract" would be over...which thankfully is in June. I told him that I really liked him and how we got along and that I couldn't afford the monthly payments any longer. It was something I did stupidly, thinking I could pay and it's been HELL every month to try and come up with the money.

He then said he would continue to train me-outside the "program" and I can pay him myself - $25/session. WTH? Are you kidding me? That is like 60% less than I'm paying now! And...I can come as often or as little as I want. What freedom! It made me want to continue with my routine of not going to the gym, but only going to see him! Nah..not really...I want to get back into the grind.

I miss the bff and the time I used to have to just hang out. What happened to that?

On the job front - my friend from the Salvation Army gave me a lead...not sure I qualify as it's a big wig job...and I still have not heard from the state. One of the jobs closes tomorrow...so, I could get a call to interview. Praying for that always.

That's it for now.

My weekend at Granny's

In an attempt to earn some much needed extra money, the kid sister and I are taking care of my 100 year old granny. She is amazing...her legacy and love of her family are something I can only hope to attain. It has been very, very, hard for me to see her decline - not mentally - but physically. She used to make really good pork-chops and make us Christmas cookies every year and shop for all of her 538 grandkids Christmas presents. They were the funniest presents but they were thoughtful and EVERYONE got something. Perhaps I get my gift-giving love from her.

While she is at her home still, she can't do anything for herself. Anything. So, my loving sister and I are going to stay with her. I am going to cook and clean and the kid sister (who has nursing aspirations) is going to do the grotty stuff. This is NOT something I want to do - I want her to be my granny - not someone who is incapable of helping herself. Needless to say, I'm praying for my own heart and that I may exhibit compassion.

Interestingly, I was reading Shane Claiborne's new book Jesus for President and he eloquently has a piece on the elderly. I quote part of it here:

In its worship of all things new and hip, US culture has sacrificed its relationship with the elderly and infirm. And most of the church has done exactly the same, putting older people into nursing homes and retirement centers.

So, I will spend the weekend at my Granny's and remember how very much she loves me - she was there when I was born and probably changed a diaper or two - now I can return the favor.

Happy Mother's Day Eve

Tonight going to the Mariner game with my entire family. I hope that they will actually win tonight. It would be nice.

I'm so excited that MNAC (mommy needs a cocktail) FINALLY has Auntie shirts! Maybe she can now start Auntie's Day so I get gifts and money...or something.

I am going to order one pronto! Brown, I think. I'm excited!

Sunday Night Prayer list

Since I hate Sunday nights...my family has instituted the Family Dinner...we each pick a place and decide to meet there on Sunday nights. It usually doesn't matter if one of us is busy or working...we plan to meet and we have done it now for 2 whole weeks in a row.

Here is my weekly prayer list...
1. Work...boss...co-workers
2. Resume going to GRCC & Highline CC
3. Looking for other opportunities.
4. My mom, dad, sisters, bros-in-law and Brent & Ellie
5. My pastor, his wife (the BFF) and Will & Lo
6. My friend Kat-facing surgery on Thursday.
7. Finances - that I continue to manage well.

That is one request for each day. Looking forward to a fun week of work (not), dinner with friends, working at Mosaic and Mother's Day.

Dad weighs in

Talked to my dad tonight about Nose Pierce 2008. His initial response was to comply and "grin and bear it" because that is what he did when any sort of controversy or issue was brought up about him or because of him. He said that he did this because he had a family to support and we couldn't very well get up and leave a church as one has to be "called" in order to go to another in our denomination.

He has since thought better. He said I don't need this job...and that I need to look at the primary reason (finances) and now the secondary reason (issue w/teacher & my boss) as a "sign" (not a good word...) that perhaps it is time to look elsewhere. This made a lot of sense as financially, with the re-fi and other issues, I've not been able to make it month to month. So, a job that pays $1000/mo more would enable me to relax and perhaps refinance my home. The nose is secondary.

He also had an issue with how my boss handled the situation. And this could be the "dad" talking but he was very surprised that my boss didn't defend me - that he waffled. Then I started to think, perhaps I didn't give my boss a fair shake in the explaining of what happened. However, what I explained to friends/family is what I HEARD - PERCEIVED him to say. Today, my boss and I had a good conversation and some of the issues of yesterday were resolved and for this I'm thankful. However, his resolution is not what mine is.

I'm still praying about this and praying that the reason I leave (if I choose to) is not because of anger or bitterness. My dad also said "where are they going to find someone like you?? It would be a big mistake for them to get rid of you..."

It's wonderful to be reaffirmed by friends and family - and to be loved by them. This is whose opinion I care about and who I believe know me and love me. I'll leave you with the parting words of my dad "You go for it girl."

Thanks dad...I love you.

And then there was Thursday

I guess that I knew this day would come-just didn't really think it would be this fast. My boss received a "complaint" about the nose pierce that I currently sport. If you know me at all you know that I am pretty whimsical...I have purple hair, I have the occasional tattoo, and now a nose pierce. All of these serve to remind me that I am a broken human being in search of a fun and interesting way to live my life. They are not statements of rebellion (perceived or otherwise) and they are not meant to cause agitation.

However, I guess today the nose pierce crossed the line. A teacher at the place I am currently employed complained to her boss who then complained to my boss. So, my boss and I had the "talk" about the nose pierce and all the reasons why I was causing my "brother or sister" to have issues with me and my role at the place I am employed. So we discussed Paul's letter to Philippa in the 2nd chapter and I agreed with what my boss said - I could humble myself.

During the discussion, I was stunned, silent, cried a lot, tried to get my point across that I thought I worked for a place that was trying really hard to NOT be Pharisaical - but on this point they missed. I also wondered why my boss didn't stand up for me. Why he didn't mention that it wasn't written in the policy manual that employees are barred from any visible facial piercings (except ears) and that he really can't ask me to take it out - blah blah blah.

It was one of those moments when all of my witty banter, my intelligence and my arguments went out the window. I was faced with this complaint and possibly a person questioning my "witness" which in turn questions my spirituality. So, for all to hear...I say:

1. I believe in Jesus Christ and that he died for my sins
2. I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and my responsibility to act it out
3. I believe it is possible to love my neighbor and disagree with his/her doctrine
4. I believe that it is more important for Christians to live the gospels rather than worry about what is or isn't pierced.
5. I believe that perhaps it's my time to find another job.
6. I believe that while on one hand we say we want to do "kingdom work" we really prefer to cow tow to pharisees in order to "keep peace".
7. I believe that a nose pierce has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with my salvation.
8. I believe in the KINGDOM and not the EMPIRE, which is subtly disguised.

Anyway...I know there are strong opinions out there about my Christian witness and how I may be a role model or come in contact with folks who don't think it appropriate to have a nose piercing...and I will pray through that and pray for the one who complained. I certainly hope it's not worth quitting, but truth be told, that is how I feel right now. I'm sad, angry and don't want to show up tomorrow!

But, in the words of my very wise and loving mother (who I equate to the words of God himself) "If you believe what you say you believe you can't take the nose pierce out."

Well said mom. Well said.


***UPDATE****
I just went on the Green River CC website and there's a job opening for an academic advisor...starting salary: $46,900. Advice???