Today I was involved in an incident between me and someone on the phone. As the conversation was evolving, and going downhill quickly, I realized that what this woman was telling me (or what I heard) was basically "you're poor and one check away from chaos and we don't want your business." She did not say that - but that is how I felt and what I have told myself continously since the conversation.
You know...she was right.
No matter what facade I may put on, no matter what car I drive, what clothes I wear, what shoes I have (and they are cute), or if I own my own home. I am poor.
I am poor in that I live above my means and I am LESS THAN one paycheck away from utter chaos. I am not talking of poverty - like some people know - because, yes, I have a family that can help me and friends I can count on, but truthfully, I do not have it all together and I try so hard-so hard to make sure people think I have it together. I screw up with my money so often and do not use it right and spend too much and always want people to think that I'm o.k.
I am a Pharisee in sack clothe and ash. Father, forgive me, Sister forgive me...I want to use my money for good. Today was a reminder that I do not and I have a lot to learn!
Friday, May 18, 2007
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About Me
- Red Letter girl
- I work at a Christian School district only 4 miles from my home. The people there are full of grace and love and I am glad to be a part of this ministry. I have a neice and nephew whom I love dearly. They are 12 and almost 15 respectively. I have two amazing sisters and two amazing brothers-in-law. Of course, I would not be here if it were not for my mother agreeing to marry my dad. Good going mom! My parents are my life and I would literally be NOTHING without their unconditional love, support and care. You rock mom and dad. Then there's Will & Lora...their giggles are like sunshine and their parents crack me up too.
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But let us always remember, that money is not everything, in fact, it is nothing. Net worth does not equal real worth in my eye's, or your friends eyes, or God's eyes. Jesus did not say come to me, but only if you credit score is above 720. And this too will perish, praise God! I love you!
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