Call me crazy

You all can call me crazy...but I went online and looked at clothes at The Gap today. I have not been able to fit anything other than Old Navy plus size, or Lane Bryant for probably 10 years...so even looking was kind of hard.

I also may purchase a pair of carpi pants that I found. Call them "goal" pants or 10 lb pants or whatever...but something to motivate me to keep going. I just need them in my hand - with a different label - one that says "The Gap".

I was up at WW by .4 (point four) yesterday. It's probably the latte I drank right before weighing in...but it still stymies my conscious when I see the + before the number.

I didn't really even have NSV's this week. I drank tons of water, exercised my arse off and still...PLUS .4!!

It's a journey...a marathon journey and it helps that even the skinny girls there that I talk to struggle with the same issues that I do. I love it still and it so helps to have the accountability of Theology Mom.

I'll let you know about the Gap pants. I'm not sure if I'm that brave yet.

Eye to Eye

I just a very long email to my BFF. You know the kind of email where you're so mad you just keep typing and you forget to punctuate and you don't care if words are spelled wrong and you hope that they will just read it and be mad about the same thing you're mad about?? One of those kinda emails.

Whew.

Sometimes, doing what we know is right is so much more difficult especially when you add in other people who are also trying to do what's right and you just do NOT see eye to eye. For me, though, having a BFF I can shoot an email to helps. She doesn't need to talk me off a ledge or anything...just read it. Knowing she knows really helps.

I think I may be tired - exhausted. I am sure this has a lot to do with my situation of not being willing to do what I need to do. Actually there's a lot that goes into it besides mere exhaustion.

My pastor talked today about Jesus' calling his disciples. They didn't have to be the best of the best (like in Top Gun), they just had to be willing. I know that we've been called to a bigger and greater ministry, it's just sometimes it's hard and exhausting and people are protective of time and resources. I'm tired. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm jumping ship.

A blog is a great place to vent too. The blog gods don't care.

I need to remember to run with perseverance the race set before me. It's a long journey and sometimes I get shin splints or a side ache...but I gotta keep going. Even if I don't always agree with those running alongside me or those who are not as committed. The journey is worth it.

Yes We Can!!

Go Barack!! South Carolina down and Super Tuesday to come!!

Out of many we are one!

Obama/Edwards '08

WW Funnies

I really like Weight Watchers - for a lot of reasons. It's fun to hang out with my BFF every week and eat really, really good dinners. It's also fun to have someone to hang out with at the meetings.

The meetings are fun and I really like our meeting leader. She works at the UW in a building I used to work in as well. She also helps us to think about NSV's (non-scale victories). This helps keep us motivated. During our last meeting, I leaned to Theology Mom and said that one of my NSV's was being able to put my hand down my pants. We laughed at this as it's kind of funny, but does show that some of my pants are getting too big.

So, when our leader asked for any NSV's we had this week (and I really really wanted a sticker) I raised my hand and said that I could now put my hand down my pants. It was funny and the gal in front of me turned to me and said "I bet you could count some activity points for that too!"

Hilarious.

I'm down 9 lbs so far, and I love it. It's a "real" world non-diet. I'm still able to go out and eat and make choices that help get me where I want to go. Paris sounds good!

Have a good weekend and remember NSV's are IMPORTANT!

Don't worry..you'll find a man

One of the joys/downsides of working in Xtian ministry is devotions every morning. We started with Oswald Chambers book My Utmost for His Highest...but it was too "taxing" for some so we switched to a Max Lucado book. Talk about taxing. It's all in perception I suppose.

Today, in devotions, we were talking about my bosses daughter. She is a junior in college and her boyfriend called their house last night to ask her dad (my boss) if he could ask her to marry him. Bra bra bra...(blah blah blah). So, my boss has another daughter who is more interested in changing the world than in men and really has a hard time with men in general. Just has a higher expectation than most can live up to. He's told stories about this daughter and she has a personality a lot like mine (from what I can tell) and she's older than this newly engaged daughter.

I responded to this great news of the morning by saying "poor Hannah...this might be tough for her." And my boss agreed but then this other guy that works with us says "oh...she'll find a man!"

I kind of looked at him and said "and what if she doesn't? Is that o.k. too?" He was embarrassed and sheepishly said "well, she used to babysit our kids..." As if that was the holy grail of finding a husband!

This has stuck with me all day because apparently in his world - as in most - there's something wrong with those of us that have not been fortunate enough to journey this world with a significant other. There must be something wrong with me (I'm fat, I like football, I have a bad attitude) as in his eyes - it's NORMAL for everyone to find someone and then life goes on.

I am working on forgiving him for his shallowness and having blinders on what God can do through even those of us who are single.

Happy Birthday Hillary

It's my youngest sister's 28th birthday today. I have a few memories of that day, but funny enough, they don't involve her.

It was a Sunday and we all got ready to go to church and Holly and I came upstairs and I remember going to get in the car in the garage and seeing my mom sitting up in bed. Of course, my dad being the great communicator to everyone else but his young daughters, didn't tell us what was going on. It was just plan WEIRD that mom was not going to church with us.

I remember after church people coming up to me and asking if I was excited to have a new baby and I must be so happy. Little did I know that my dad, from the platform, had announced that my mom was in labor and he was leaving from church (notice the dedication...) to take her to the hospital. Thanks Dad for sharing with us.

I also remember not ever knowing Hillary was born. We went to Cal & Ruth Ketchum's house to spend the next few days and went to Papa's pizza that Sunday night. Somebody, maybe my dad, called the pizza place and told Cal that I had a sister. I do remember talking to my mom on the payphone from Papa's.

Childbirth in the 60's, 70's & 80's was a LOT different than it is now.

I am glad Hillary was born - however I found out. She keeps me young and very stylish and takes me to Paris! Thanks Hillary - I love you!!

Here ya go Anonymous!

Last night at the store I was behind a young woman who had several things in her cart. She told the checker that she only had $27.00 (cash) and if she was going to go over that, she didn't want her celery.

Well, she got to the celery and had already rung up $26.00 (it appeared as if she were making homemade chicken soup as she had chicken, stock, noodles, etc) and so couldn't afford to pay for her celery.

She paid for her order and I said "I'll get your celery for you" and she looked at me and the checker looked at me, all very confused. I said again "I'll get the celery for you." She looked at me and said "Wow, Thanks a lot!"

It was $2.18.

Is that living the words I preach? Man I sure hope it is...

The congenial Jesus

I was talking to a co-worker the other day about her son and the choices in music he was making for his I-pod. She was telling me that she needed to review some of his choices to ensure he was not listening to Snoop Dog or something (I guess) and in my wittiness I popped off and said "You know, Jesus said it's not what goes into a man that makes him unclean."

This is a very funny and quite appropriate remark, in keeping with the situation. However, she just kind of looked at me funny and said something like "I didn't know he said that."

This comment has rested with me for about a week. You didn't know that Jesus said that. It started me thinking of this crappy, so-called Christian life that we (not you, gentle blog reader...think of someone you may know) live. This life knows NOTHING of Jesus - the Savior of our souls and of the universe. The very one who ushered in the Kingdom of God on earth and we have the audacity to NOT KNOW what he says?

Friends, please, read the Gospels. Start with Matthew. Skip the birth genealogy and stuff and get straight to the Sermon on the Mount. Please..just three chapters 5, 6, & 7. That's it! Start there. Please know something that Jesus said by the time you read my blog again. He's at least worth that. Start with Matthew 7:21. That'll wake you up.

Surprisingly, I do not think you will find someone congenial to lack of knowledge in him, the poor or the disenfranchised. I don't care either if you know the Old Testement, know the Pauline letters or even Jude & Revelation. How can we not know the words of Jesus?

C'mon...drop and give me 20!

Nothing bugs me more

than when Gmail is down! I have not received one piece of email all day! It could just be my work computer is lame.

WW - Day one

I was pleased with my WW experience last night. I really liked the meeting leader and all the information was good. I didn't feel like I was being sold a bill 'o goods and I felt it was a genuine experience.

I started off today with 5 points for breakfast...I realize it's only 8:41 am so, hoping to keep the points within my realm. I'm excited and encouraged and realize that getting those stickers is my #1 goal! I love the point concept. It's yet another mind game for me that I think will really work...I simply CAN NOT go over my allotted points for the day. Simple yet strategic.

On another note, I'm disappointed in the N.H. elections. Yet, once again, I was inspired by Barak's speech. He is passionate about what he wants to do for this country and he speaks from the heart. I am inspired.

On yet one more note...my personal trainer quit today. Her last day is January 18th. I am really bummed out. I really liked her and what she taught me and feel a set back before I really even get WW off the ground! She has a lot of reasons for leaving and I told her that I didn't want anyone else to train me...so we may have an American Gladiator type battle between me and L.A. Fitness over this. I refuse to pay for another trainer. You think that will work?

The road less travelled

I had to change blog layouts. I'm not creative enough to make one myself but I couldn't stand the darkness. I needed spring! color! tequila! This color is called Tequila.

I'm starting Weight Watchers tonight with my BFF. This is not something new for me...as I've been down this road many times. But it's new in sharing. I don't share a lot but feel this is an important thing to share as I need accountability and responsibility. It will be nice to record and track eating and points and see where I stumble. My biggest stumble is eating out. I LOVE eating out with friends and family. It is what makes my life bearable and fun. So, with WW I think it's a bit more easy to eat out - but we'll see.

It's a new day, a new layout, a new covenent, a new year! Here's my mantra: I will get a date in 2008!!

Weekend Highlights

Here are a few snippets of weekend highlights:

-Friday night started it off right with dinner with Hillary and my BFF and her cute family just home from California. It was fun to sit at Claim Jumper and chat.

-Did not go the gym Friday, Saturday or Sunday..it's still a possibility today, but this quilt I'm under is just too cozy.

-Worked at Mosaic yesterday. It was nice to see that I had not lost my skills after so much time off. Also realized how much I love that place and what it "does" for the community of faith I belong to-it allows a place of service to random strangers and golfers.

-Watched the Seahawks beat the Redskins. We were at Holly's and ALL had Seahawks gear on (including my dad). It was one of the most fun days I've had in a long while. We were up and down and yelling and screaming and finally celebrated with hot dogs and burgers! What a game!!

-Went to dinner with my friends from the UW. We get together about once every 8 weeks or so and remember how thankful we are that we no longer work there under that "regime". Sorry Kyra...the five year plan has you outta there shortly!

-Participated in the 2008 Wesley Covenant service today at church.

-Laughed when while at Chili's today after church, the waiter asks me and my nephew Brent what we'd like to drink by saying "What can I get you ladies to drink?" Brent and his long and luxurious red hair, did not appreciate it. He said "Now I'm getting a high & tight." The waiter was very embarrassed and called him "bud" the entire rest of the time.

-Praying that my dad will get the job he's interviewing for tomorrow (Corporate training). It's a lot of money that they need!

-Now will head into the evening watching the Chargers and the Titans, looking at school work and wishing the quarter did not start tomorrow!

From Ben Witherington's blog

Lord forgive us for our Biblical illiteracy, and for whittling off the hard edges of Scripture because they rub us the wrong way. Forgive us for our arrogance and ignorance which is always a lethal combination. Forgive us Lord for treating our cultural preferences as if they were Biblical absolutes, and forgive us for perverting your Gospel which is Good News for the poor into empowerment for those who long to be richer, wealthier, scratching the itch of a greedy soul. Lord forgive us our sense of entitlement and for treating you as if you were the great Santa Claus in the sky whose mission in life is to fulfill all our worldly longings and desires.

~ Dr. Ben Witherington

This is from Dr. Witherington's personal blog and is part of a prayer he has posted there. I suggest reading the entire prayer as it's powerful and true. I took this snippet and quote it here because I need to remember this today and everyday.

867-5309

There's nothing that strikes fear in my heart more than a late night phone call. I lay there and play out scenarios in my head of who has died or who is in the hospital. This probably stems from my childhood days when my dad was pastor of a large church in Eugene and he would get late night calls of people sleeping and drinking and doing other lewd and lascivious acts on church property. He would have to get out of bed and go down there. We did not live close and I never understood why his name was on the list.

So, last night...I'm laying there trying to deal with this surge of bad news that awaits me on the end of this phone call. I go and see the caller i.d. on the cell phone and it's a "wrong number" or number I don't recognize and have not been able to identify using all of my collection techniques.

So, MR/MS 425-223-3745 - you are dead to me and your number is published for all the world to see! At least all six people that may read my blog.