Confessions of a swearing 3rd grader

I was talking tonight with my friend whose son just started kindergarten. He is doing great even though there are adjustments to be made and learning curves to survive - he tells some wonderful stories!

It reminded me of my own issues while in elementary school. There were the scary ones about being picked last for kick ball or who my boyfriend would or wouldn't be in the 2nd grade. There was one boy who liked me all throughout elementary school. His name was Raymond. I was never very nice to him, but he persevered. He got me a little necklace one Christmas. And one day..it was pouring rain when we had to walk home and Raymond, all of about 9 or 10 gave me his umbrella to walk with and he headed home in the pouring rain. Luckily my mom came to pick me up and we went to find Raymond to give him a ride.

There are some days when I remember how much he liked me and how mean I remember being to him and my heart grieves for him and I hope he is well and I bow my head to say a prayer for him. At least someone liked me and wanted to marry me...once.

I remember an incident in third grade when I was sent to the Principal's office - Mr. Hockstetter. He was small, thin and wore a lot of Grecian formula. He had little glasses too and a hook nose which made him look like a "hawk" thus befitting his name. He also smoked a lot of menthol cigarettes. I was on the playground, upside down on the bars. I had chosen to wear a skirt that day and buck convention and go upside down on the bars anyway. Well, a boy named Mike Murray (who I know my mother will remember) came up to me and grabbed the skirt and tried to pull it up/down or whichever way so he could see my undies.

I was mortified. I ran to the playground teacher and promptly told her that Mike Murray had tried to f*#k me. Yes, I said the f-word - that glorious word that has survived generations. It was really the only word that described exactly what Mike Murray was trying to do!!

I got sent to Mr. Hockstetter's office. My mom was called and she came to retrieve me in her humiliation and shame. The pastor's wife...picking up her daughter from school for saying the F word. I don't even remember getting in trouble. My mom knew Mike Murray and realized that he would probably be in jail someday and understood my plight. Thanks mom, for being cool and hating Mike Murray too!

And Raymond...wherever you are...thanks for the necklace.